50/50 Relationships Don’t Work

If a mother applied the 50/50 rule to her newborn baby, most mothers would have ditched their baby within the first couple of days. Instead a mother whole heartedly gives her everything for the baby, her time, energy, body and love without expecting anything in return. The mother applies the rule of 100/0, she gives 100% of love with no expectations of something in return. (although newborn cuddles and smiles somehow is our reimbursement) So if a mother’s love is like this why do we turn the tables around when it comes to our spouses and even people around us.

The ultimate example of the 100/0 love is that of Jesus Christ. He gave His all for us and knew that some of us would not care but he did it anyways for everybody! This is the example of perfect love that we should strive towards. So why do we always expect that we need to get something in return equal to or of greater value to what we give and many a time expecting without giving?

I did the laundry so you need to do mow the lawn!

I changed the diaper twice it’s your turn now!

I am very guilty of saying these statements too often. If we looked at our marriage 100/0 these statements wouldn’t need to come up because both individuals are aware of each other’s needs and a simple “could you please could you do this for me I would really appreciate it” will go a longer way than “I did this so you do this….”Keeping score of who did what will always put a strain on any relationship.

Too often we look at relationships and marriage as a 50/50, where it needs to be fair and equal. Give and take. Yes to a certain degree that is important but can you imagine how powerful a relationship would be if it was 100/0 and both parties agreed to it applying this rule. Meaning both would put 100 whether or not they were receiving love or not. Of course this is the perfect world this can never be a reality right… Here is a cute story of 100/0.

I for sure need to work on this, because I am the recipient of such love. In my moments of stubbornness and pride I put 0% effort and give up while my husband is footing the 100%. I am so grateful during these moments because this is what pulls us through the difficult times if either one of us are still holding on and trying there will always be hope! Of course it’s not going to be 100% ALL THE TIME… but let that be standard. Lets all make an effort to put in 100% in to our marriage and family relationships. Put our score cards away and just give it our all.  We really can’t afford not to.

If this is something you are interested in or have more questions or ideas message me at info@ourhappytalk.com. I offer marriage coaching sessions for individuals that want to improve their relationship with their spouses, so if you would like a free session schedule a time with me today. Would love to hear from you!

 


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