(Bracelet by: Just an Arm full of Sugar)
Aroha was born with a bilateral cleft lip. Before she was born I had no clue what this was or how she got it but all I knew it was here to stay even after the surgeries. The biggest fear I had when I found this out was how was I going to be a support to her as she starts to grow older and realize she was a little different physically than the other children. Once a little girl myself I knew how it was to grow up being a girl and surrounded by all the media and how much it focused and preyed on women’s self-esteem and confidence, I also knew that kids were just plain honest and upfront whether they hurt feelings or not. I knew that even after her surgeries there will still be scarring.
So for the longest time I was saddened in what will I say when or if she came home crying being teased, or no one would play with her and if didn’t want to go to school because of the kids, or when she didn’t want to look in the mirror, or when she would say she wasn’t pretty. How could I help her know that she was special, beautiful that we are all different in our unique ways and it is awesome to be yourself?
Being into all this self-development jazz myself and applying them into my life, a light bulb went off in my head. If I as an adult uses affirmations to change my mindset why can’t my daughter?? I then came up with some simple affirmations for both her and I that we could recite together. .
I AM BEAUTIFUL
I AM BLESSED
I AM LOVED
I then wrote these affirmations on her bedroom mirror and made it a habit that after morning prayers we would look into the mirror and say these together. Sometimes we will also recite it in the bathroom mirror while brushing our teeth. I also did little actions with each word so she could do them because she could barely even talk. Aroha loves doing the little actions in the mirror and I love saying them because it helps me remember these important truths as well as well.
Reminding her she is beautiful no matter what anybody else says about her. The most important person that needs to think you are beautiful is yourself. I am Blessed is so she remembers that she has so many blessings in her life both big and small. And I am loved is so she remembers that she is forever loved by her parents, herself and God. Although she does not fully understand the whole concept behind repeating these phrases everyday I am hoping I am planting some little seeds that will be planted to come to remembrance when the right time and place comes.
Have you thought about affirmations with your children? What are some words you use? If you have any thoughts questions or comments about building relationships with your children I would love to talk to you. Feel free to send me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org.
xo Be Amazing!!!