BLOG


Marriage Spotlight: Two Islands Meet

IMG_2496small

Bio: Stacey Ahokava is 24 years of age and has been married for 6 months and 5 days. They currently have no children yet. She is of Samoan descent and her husband is of Tongan descent. She is currently working full-time supporting  her husband as he is in his final year of Engineering. She loves spending time with family and loves her tongan food especially Otai! We are privileged to hear some of her experiences and thoughts in the first 6 months of their marriage.

1. What was your biggest fear before marriage?
My biggest fear was not knowing what to expect after marriage. I was a little hesitant when my husband even brought the idea up haha. He played a song at the pier and slow danced with me asking what I thought about marriage and I asked why? Why so soon? Why not wait? I took a leap of faith going into this. I was excited but in saying that I was so scared. My parents have separated and I often felt inadequate but with a lot of support from my family and especially my husband, I was able to get sealed in the temple for all time and eternity.
2. What has been the biggest adjustment for you being married?
The biggest adjustment would have to be the time spent together. Before marriage, I would spend most of my time with my little cousins who I treat as my own and I don’t think they’ve adjusted well lol. I was always with my family. My family are my everything! When my husband came along they (my little cousins) weren’t too happy and did not welcome him with open arms hahaha. Living together was weird at first but I love having someone to talk/cry/laugh to every night before I go to sleep. Having someone to hold hands, kneel and say prayers with. Having someone to go on dates with. Having someone to sit next to at church. Having someone I can call mine haha It’s not about me anymore and what I want, it’s about us and what’s best for us.
3. What was the best advice someone gave to for marriage?
The best advice I’ve been given would have to be what I often hear at Church and that is to always look at the eternal perspective. After I got baptised less than two years ago, I started going to Institute. My husband (boyfriend at the time) was teaching the Book of Mormon Class so I went on my own to the Eternal Marriage class (bear in mind we were just dating at the time, not sure why I went to that class. I must’ve been following the spirit haha). They taught about man’s view in comparison to God’s view. I’ll never forget that lesson. Not because I was paying real close attention due to the no friends I had in that class haha, but because I understood. For so long, I was living in “man’s view” and I had progressed very little, if any. Seeing that made me appreciate all the trials I went through. And that the choices I made from that day on, will affect me and the progress I make each and every day. “Line upon line. Here a little, and there a little.” Some days are tougher than others, but I’m happy that my husband and I have both gained that eternal perspective to help us make better decisions not only for this life, but into eternity.

4. What has been the most enjoyable part of marriage?
My favourite part of marriage is knowing that I am sealed to my eternal companion for all time and eternity! Even if he leaves me in this life, he’s still stuck with me haha. Nah but seriously, he is one of my greatest blessings. Having him around is always fun. He easily knows how to get out of the doghouse and he’s always making me laugh and is pushing me out of my comfort zone. He knows I like to stay in the “safe zone” and I love that he sees my potential and pushes me to be a better person than I was yesterday (I don’t love it at the time though haha). As I said before, I’m a convert to the LDS faith. I’ve been a member going onto two years now. & my husband converted when he was young. I was a Catholic and he a Methodist. I’m still learning about the Gospel as I’m sure he is too. Especially as we plan to extend our little family soon maybe next year or the year after lol. Every day I wake up thankful to have an amazing husband, to have a priesthood holder in my home and to be with my best friend every day. That’s the most enjoyable part.

5. What have you done to get through your tough times in marriage?
My husband and my mother in-law have both told me this. It’s one thing I didn’t quite understand or accept but learnt to do so over time. My wonderful mother in-law also shared this recently in Relief Society. When I was first introduced to my in-laws, I was scared. After much praying haha, I eventually met them and I was on my best behaviour. Like never before haha. After meeting me my husband asked my mother in-law what she thought about me, and she said she looked at me as a daughter of our Heavenly Father. Now at the time when I first heard this I was confused. Until I later understood the blessings of this statement. Quite often I’m singing “I Am a Child of God” but did I believe it? Probably not. Ask me again if I do now, I do! I have learnt to understand that not only am I one, but everyone else is too. We are all His children and He loves each and every one of us. My worth and understanding of the love my Saviour has for me have helped immensely when getting through the tough times in marriage. My husband and I have gone through a lot of trials in just the last six months of marriage and I’m grateful for this knowledge because it calms me hahaha. It helps me. I’m always asking myself “would my Father approve of my choices? Would he be proud of me?” My ultimate goal is to return to him, with my family. I know the trials I’ll face won’t get easier, but because I have a testimony of the Gospel, I know these will all be worth it. After all, I am a Child of God and He has sent me here. :):):)

IMG_2505small


Marriage Advice from a Cowgirl

 

Our story began in the Summer of 1993 at a church convention in Chugwater, Wyoming. Cody was single, I was not!We exchanged addresses and wrote a few letters throughout the years.

In October of 1997, I was a senior in High School.  I was very active in volleyball and had just experienced a rough break up with a boy. I had a “NONBOY” attitude.My mother decided that I needed to attend a church convention in Kansas. She insisted that I go. I went by myself and I can remember thinking, “Why am I going?” I made a little detour and was a little late getting to the convention. You see, I really didn’t want to go and I felt like I had my life in control.  Turns out that I need to attend that convention.  I think my mom and God talked to each other. I sat at a lunch table, when I heard this, “Naomi, can you please pass the tea?” I about fell off my chair. Cody Loomis remembered my name.

To tell you the truth I cannot remember a thing that the preachers talked about. All I can remember was the butterflies in my stomach and the long walks that we went on.After the convention was over, I drove Cody to his ranch and we went on a horseback ride.  We talked about our faults, our weaknesses, our goals in life, our fears, our past relationships, and our future. I can remember leaving his ranch that night and thanking God that I went to Kansas.

In September of 1998, Cody took a knee and asked me to be his wife. I said, “YES”. Two weeks later in Lone Tree Canyon, east of Chugwater, Wyoming we said these vows:

“You are my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.” We celebrated 17 years of marriage in October. I’m surprised by how fast the years have gone by.

When I think back on our dating days and then our wedding day, it was filled with such hope and promises. Our love was blossoming and a new life was beginning for both of us. In the course of these 17 years, we’ve learned a great deal about ourselves and about each other. About the importance of marriage and why it’s worth fighting for. We were young, in love and ready for marriage when we said yes in our late teens, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we knew how to have a great marriage.

17 years later, here are 12 lessons that have been clarified for us in our marriage:

  1. The 50/50 Game Doesn’t Work.

For a season, we view marriage like it is a game, a competition. If I do this, you should do that. Meet me in the middle here, do a little more there. If you do 50 things, I’ll do 50. That sort of game. But, true love is shown when one of us can’t get to the middle. Then, it’s up to the other to go the extra mile. Maybe that ratio is 90/10 for a season if one of us is sick, stressed, or even depressed. Don’t view marriage as a scorecard. Someone always loses that way.

  1. Keep Adventure Alive.

Fighting to keep adventure alive doesn’t have to be extravagant. Maybe it’s a small drive with no kids, or maybe you shut the door to your bedroom, maybe its a date to a feeder meeting, or a surprise baby sitter for the evening or even a simple handwritten note. One of our favorites is a horse back ride!

  1. Kiss, Hug & Hold Each Other.

This is a hard one but probably one of the most important. Make a point to kiss and hug your spouse each morning and night. When you’re leaving and arriving too.  I challenge each of you to try this.  It makes a huge difference in your day and night. Be the one to make the move first, don’t always wait for the other. I also challenge you to hold hands, it rekindles the flame!

  1. Grit Is Often The Best Description Of Love.

When we where newlyweds love was easy, but after years real life can get chaotic, stressful, and confusing.  The answer is to dig your boots in when life gets hard.

  1. Real Life Happens In The Mundane.

Babies being born, buying a piece of land, buying a new car are the peaks of marriage, and they are great. However, most normal days are mundane. I’ve been guilty of missing the little moments while I work to make the big ones happen. I’m realizing that life happens in those little moments. I’m learning to love the journey, every bit, as much as the destination.

  1. Proximity Doesn’t Equal Presence.

Being physically close isn’t the same as being close emotionally. We need to put away our phones and listen to each other’s hearts.  Life is busy; when you have the ability to be together physically, it is important be there emotionally as well.

  1. Comparison Will Kill.

In an age of social media it’s easy to feel like your marriage sucks.  It does our relationship no good when we compare our money, house, kids’ performance and marriage to others through social media. We will become the losers. It robs our joy.

  1. Don’t Throw It Away.

Each day we need to keep choosing each other.  When our going gets a little rough, I remember our wedding day or the birth our kids and decide that it will pay to keep our spark alive. We need to be honest about when we fail. It will be worth it.

  1. Giving & Serving. 

Are we giving and serving? Or are we only taking and using? Life is best when we are giving ourself away for the benefit of  the other.

  1. Live In Community.

Nobody told me that marriage is hard. It can be beautiful and redeeming. When we chose to surround our self with friends and family who know your strengths as well as your struggles, you realize you have support and encouragement.

 

Naomi Loomis

http://fromthecornerofthecirclel.blogspot.com/

Faith_Family_Ranching

 

I’m Naomi Loomis and I am a rancher from the Sandhills of Nebraska. My husband, our 4 kids and myself are raising the next generation of ranchers and cattle. My blog gives you a glimpse of our ranch and our story—all to better connect consumers with ranchers. Visit me at www.fromthecornerofthecirclel.blogspot.com.

 


Exercising My Courage Muscles

By Jasmine Hewitt who blogs at LoveLifeLaughMotherhood. I am so excited that she is sharing some timeless advice for us mothers who constantly exercise courage at all stages of our life. I love the she says the more we do it the stronger our courage gets!

I can never fully remember who it is, but there’s a famous quote about one’s courage being much like a muscle, and that it needed to be exercised regularly. If being a Mom has taught me anything this past year, it’s that you must never fall slack of your exercise.

I was a pretty courageous person before I discovered I was pregnant, but now looking back, I imagine my courage sitting on an incredibly comfortable couch, eating nachos, and not wanting to be bothered unless provoked. Those two little blue lines not only provoked, but knocked the bowl of nachos out of my courage’s hands and challenged  it to get up and moving! Ok, not literally, but that sounded better than the initial panic attack that ensued.

But with each day of my pregnancy, I worked up just a little more courage than the day before, and began my preparations for motherhood. I read everything I could about what to expect with labor, caring for a newborn, raising an infant-all the while doing the best I could to stay calm and not let panic set in. Not long after the beginning of my second trimester, my then fiance went to study abroad in Russia, and we thought wouldn’t be back in time for my delivery. Saying goodbye for the next few months, I wanted to disappear into a bag of Cheetos and never emerge until after my baby was already born and my soon-to-be husband returned. My inner Courage wouldn’t let me. It was important to my baby and myself to not be tempted into becoming depressed. So I pressed forward, and we (my baby, my Courage and I) got a little stronger every day. Then my future husband made it back early by dropping classes! And I didn’t have to go it alone…but I wasn’t ever really alone. My Courage was with me.

You would think after the birth of our son, my Courage could have retreated back to the couch with snack foods, but that’s when I really needed it the most. To get me through the long days, and sleepless nights of new motherhood. To encourage me when I felt downtrodden. To tell me that everything would be worth it in the end. I needed it again when snotty scantimommies said things about our cloth diapers, or how I shouldn’t vaccinate my child, or why I should just let him “cry it out” at less than a few months old. I needed to be able to defend my parenting decisions, and to do that, I needed my courage.

After having to use it for so long, my Courage still hasn’t made it back to the couch to chill until necessary. It’s up bright and early each day, doing squats and whispering, ‘We got this!’ in my ear.

I know I’m going to need it for the future ahead-potty training, first day of school, first slumber party away from home. Lots of ‘firsts.’ But after all this time, it should be much easier to get my ‘courage’ into gear-it’s been exercising a while now, and is pretty strong.

That’s my advice for anyone, especially mothers, who are having trouble with dealing with life changing events, or even just the day-to-day difficulties of putting up with people. Use your courage every time, to help propel and defend yourself. Exercise that sucker every way you can-sure you’re perfectly capable of pulling it off your ‘inner couch’ whenever necessary, but the more it’s exercised and used, the stronger and tougher it will be.  Meet those life-moments and ‘firsts’, head on. You can build the strength to face them and conquer.  Don’t back down from criticism of your parenting decisions – you know what’s best for your child. Stand up for your beliefs. Keep your courage on a regular workout plan, by using it whenever you can. When those really big difficulties seem like they are bearing down on you, you will be glad you exercised.

My PhotoFor more fun articles of motherhood and family visit LoveLifeLaughMotherhood. Jasmine is a first time mom to a sweet little boy, and a wife to an amazing husband. She’s a baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, tattooed lover of wine and Netflix. And squeezes blogging into her spare time. 


50/50 Relationships Don’t Work

If a mother applied the 50/50 rule to her newborn baby, most mothers would have ditched their baby within the first couple of days. Instead a mother whole heartedly gives her everything for the baby, her time, energy, body and love without expecting anything in return. The mother applies the rule of 100/0, she gives 100% of love with no expectations of something in return. (although newborn cuddles and smiles somehow is our reimbursement) So if a mother’s love is like this why do we turn the tables around when it comes to our spouses and even people around us.

The ultimate example of the 100/0 love is that of Jesus Christ. He gave His all for us and knew that some of us would not care but he did it anyways for everybody! This is the example of perfect love that we should strive towards. So why do we always expect that we need to get something in return equal to or of greater value to what we give and many a time expecting without giving?

I did the laundry so you need to do mow the lawn!

I changed the diaper twice it’s your turn now!

I am very guilty of saying these statements too often. If we looked at our marriage 100/0 these statements wouldn’t need to come up because both individuals are aware of each other’s needs and a simple “could you please could you do this for me I would really appreciate it” will go a longer way than “I did this so you do this….”Keeping score of who did what will always put a strain on any relationship.

Too often we look at relationships and marriage as a 50/50, where it needs to be fair and equal. Give and take. Yes to a certain degree that is important but can you imagine how powerful a relationship would be if it was 100/0 and both parties agreed to it applying this rule. Meaning both would put 100 whether or not they were receiving love or not. Of course this is the perfect world this can never be a reality right… Here is a cute story of 100/0.

I for sure need to work on this, because I am the recipient of such love. In my moments of stubbornness and pride I put 0% effort and give up while my husband is footing the 100%. I am so grateful during these moments because this is what pulls us through the difficult times if either one of us are still holding on and trying there will always be hope! Of course it’s not going to be 100% ALL THE TIME… but let that be standard. Lets all make an effort to put in 100% in to our marriage and family relationships. Put our score cards away and just give it our all.  We really can’t afford not to.

If this is something you are interested in or have more questions or ideas message me at info@ourhappytalk.com. I offer marriage coaching sessions for individuals that want to improve their relationship with their spouses, so if you would like a free session schedule a time with me today. Would love to hear from you!

 


Caribbean Getaway!

A Cruise in the Caribbean is officially ticked off my bucket list! Booking it 3 weeks prior to leaving and planning everything as we went is always a fun adventure for me! It was a much needed break for the both of us, and gave us more than sufficient time to miss our little munchkin.

Still working on our photography skills and should have probably picked better pictures but oh well will for sure be posting up more posts about this cruise and the fun lessons we learnt along the way! Enjoy watching this video highlights and our fun little announcement at the end!


Love YOURSELF!

You can’t give from an empty well.

There is a clear difference between being selfish, self centered and taking time to rejuvenate yourself. To me it’s the difference where one is the end in itself and the other is a means to an end. We woman have such a nurturing spirit that we always want to help serve and cater. Especially as mothers and wives we are always trying to support our children in their dreams and also our husbands in their goals sometimes we may forget about our own. Sometimes I even feel guilty that I have my own dreams and goals that I want to accomplish and am working towards.

But very often I have come across women who are burnt out and tired and exhausted because they are running around catering to those around them and have taken little to no time to look after ourselves feeling unappreciated for years of selfless service.

My Story

I had the mentality that if I take time to care for myself I am not being a good mother and all time should be to help my family. I shouldn’t dress up and put make up because that will mean I’m worrying and spending too much on myself and that is selfish. Sometimes I would even feel guilty for going to the gym because that is time away from my family although I would go in the morning before they woke up. Taking care of myself was the always the last priority, and any time should be used with husband baby even if that meant I was run down and awful to be with. It came to a breaking point where I just drove myself crazy being inside the house all the time with baby and my patience just wore thin with her, I would dread being at home all day long and be miserable when my husband finished work.

“It’s a not a luxury, it’s a must which you shouldn’t feel guilty about. Mums especially are good at shuffling themselves to the bottom of the pack and naturally looking after family and friends before themselves.” Lorraine Thomas, Chief Executive of the Parent Coaching Academy.

Things to Remember:

  1. Me Time isn’t selfish but it does allow you to share your whole self with those you love. If you don’t allow time to rest and refuel then what you give your family isn’t your personal best
  2. Self-care is an important part of motherhood. Whether its reading a book alone, going to the gym, or getting a pedicure, looking after your physical will help you feel better inwards. Your confidence will increase and help you feel like you have life by the horns! (even if it’s only for 30mins)
  3. Your children benefit directly from your personal growth. Growing your life allows you to share more of you with your children. Your children will be able to learn that they need some time out too.
  4. You don’t have to wait till bed time to have “Me time.” You can sneak it in throughout the day when baby is at the park I take my book along in case she leaves me alone for more than 5mins.

The biggest lesson I learnt is that I can’t be dependant on other people for my happiness. I am my own creator of happiness. I can’t expect my husband to make me happy all the time or my children or job or friends. When all is said and done and you have nothing left in the world the only person to make you happy is yourself and if you can’t make yourself happy who else will?

Be Amazing!

Love Tracylesieli


Intentional Marriages

WHITESMarriage requires constant work and effort but nevertheless can be the most rewarding commitments one can make in their lifetime. I don’t know how it is for some people but for me I had a lot of changes I had to make. I didn’t realise how selfish I was, I didn’t realise how prideful I was, how to communicate my feelings effectively and the list goes on all of this became so evident in our first year of marriage. I doubted my marriage decisions many a time and even if I was worthy to be married to anybody.  Not to mention I was pregnant 4 months later and was feeling self conscious about my self confidence kept declining not to mention a lot more hormones adding to the mix.  It was a very bumpy road and therefore we had to be very intentional about our marriage or it would literally fall apart. We both had a lot to learn and still do  but today I wanted to share some things that we did and currently do.

  •  God First: Putting God first has immense power. When you put God first you have the desire to be patient, understanding, forgiving and helps you put things in perspective. Take a look at the blog post which I dedicate to this topic. Includes praying and reading together often like everyday! This can help you before problems occur. Reading the scriptures and praying together enables you to have strength to have your priorities in order. 
  • Love languages: The wonderful book by Gary Chapman. I did a video about this forever ago. But understanding each others love language really helped me understand how I can show love to him. In fact reading any books on love and marriage can help propel your marriage.
  • Self Time and Date Time: We need alone time. I didn’t realise this until recently but we need time to ourselves individually or doing something that you enjoy. Sometimes that might be with just the girls or the boys. And date time you need to make date night a priority with you two alone to keep the fire blazing!
  • Recognize the underlying problems: Sometimes because your spouse doesn’t want to go to your parents house isn’t because they don’t like them but because they don’t feel they spend enough time with you. Try digging a litte deeper to find out what the real problems may be.
  • Communication: Can’t get enough of this one. Words, Tone, Body language have a big impact on our communication especially in the most sensitive time. Be aware of what you are communicating to each other. Pay attention to your body language because it may send messages you don’t want them to take the wrong way.
  • Calming Techniques: This is the hardest area for me. Letting your husband you just need some time to think it over is better than just storming off. Before you let your top blow off try counting to 10 , taking deep breaths or any other calming techniques. The best time to talk is when you are both level headed.

Marriage is a journey full of ups and downs. Enjoy the ride as you grow closer each day. How are you being intentional with your marriage? I would love to hear some of your tips. Comment and share if you found this useful.

Thanks


Our Intentional Parenting Techniques

I want my child to be….. responsible, kind, hardworking, courageous, well mannered, independant.. and the list can go on right. No we can’t choose what our child will become but as parents we do have influence in how they can develop these attributes and values. Th

Yes another post on being Intentional because I believe this life needs to be lived intentionally! And especially when it comes to raising children.  Lots of people just leave it up to nature to take its course with their children. In many cases that’s great and other cases we can’t just take the back seat we need to be conscious and aware of what are children are learning, how they are learning and how we can leverage their experiences without getting in the way. Growing up my mum always always said learning begins in the home! Not at school or church it’s in the HOME! And it begins from the moment they are born. (CRAZY… right) Do you know what you are teaching your child each day? Are you aware your child is constantly learning from you with or without your consent. If so you might as well be aware of what you are teaching them right? Being intentional means you are involved and not sitting on the bench. We all have our own things we believe it is important for our children to learn and we know or have access to ways we can teach our children in the home.

Today I just wanted to share ways we are being intentional with our daughter within our own home.

IMG_4822

  1. Eliminating “NO” – Using positive parenting methods we have not been using the words “No” with her. We would use the distraction method majority of the time or if it wasn’t such a big deal just let her explore until she learnt for herself the consequences of something. So if she was playing with something that could fall and it wasn’t dangerous I would just let it fall so she could see the consequences. If it hit her toe she would feel the consequences. This has made her extremely aware of the consequences of things that she does. There is an exception to no or stop is when she is doing something that can kill her like running out on the street. There are so many more other vocabulary that we can avoid with our children and replacements that are better for them.
  2. Minimal Screen Time – I am extremely intentional with this. I probably allow baby to watch 30mins of Signing Time or Nursery Rhymes like every 2 days on my laptop. So in about a week she watches a screen about 3 times. This has so many benefits that I share more about in this post.
  3. Minimal Toys – After reading a book about simplifying parenting by…. I realised Baby room has so much clutter. I decided to take out majority of her toys in her room and only leave between 5-10 toys to play with. I also minimised her books so she wouldn’t have so many books everywhere. This has helped with a cleaner and less cluttered room. Every couple of months I switch out her toys.This also helps her focus on playing with one thing at a time. Instead of just going in there and throwing everything around. I grew up where there were little toys and we had to use our imagination and creativity and looking back I loved it so I want the same for her.
  4. Encourage Creativity – So big for me!!! I want my baby to figure out and learn on her own. Find her way of doing thing she doesn’t have to do things my way. Even though it comes with lots of frustration from her but the joy on her face once she gets it is priceless. This also requires a lot of patience from me and to hold myself back especially when I want to just save the day.
  5. New Experiences– My husband and I love to take baby to learn and explore new environments. Taking her to the park to feed the ducks, to the zoo to the pet store, to see animals. We want to give her plenty of opportunity for experiences. In the future we hope to be able to take our children on adventures in different countries to see different ways of living and how people live.
  6. Comfort Zone – We love helping our baby explore her limits and feel fear and learn to deal with it. We love seeing her at 14 months climb up to the highest slide in the playground and slide down by herself. We love helping her see she limits herself and she is capable of hard things if she puts her mind to it.
  7. Affirmations – I want my baby to develop positive views of herself and others. In the morning after prayer we read affirmations to help her and me to start our day with positive thoughts. I am hoping that this will be instilled into her subconscious and will influence her in other aspects of her life. IMG_4758

How are you being intentional with your children? What are you teaching your children? What do you want your children to learn and become? How do you incorporate these into everyday activties? Would love to hear your thoughts!


Intentional Living for Mothers

IMG_3121smallDo I consciously make an effort to teach my child something each day? Do I know what I am teaching my child today? Most people are not aware that whether they are trying to or not they are always teaching your children. So instead of teaching your children unconsciously and unknowingly you may want to help yourself by being conscious about the messages you are sending to your children.

Unknowingly my parents taught me that I can lie on certain occasion, when they told me to tell them that my parent’s weren’t home or to tell the movie clerk I was 5 instead of 8. Unknowingly my parents taught me to be creative with things around the house when the didn’t buy fancy toys and gadgets to keep me busy. How effective could my parents teachings have been if they were conscious about the actions they did. How much of a better influence could they have been if they knew what they were teaching me. This is why I feel that we all increase our consciousness in all that we do.

So how can you be intentional and conscious mothers? Here are some ways I have used to be an intentional mother you may even doing this without realising which is great! Keep in mind this is just a guideline you also need to feel what is right for your family and how to apply it into your circumstances.

  1. Understand your own personal core values and have a vision of what you want your children to become. (without trying to live your dreams through your children) Understanding your children’s unique talents and gifts and helping enhance those and develop those which they struggle with.
  2. Know what you want to teach your children. (Empathy, Kindness, Forgiveness, Sharing etc Prayer)
  3.  Throughout the day create situations which will provide your children an opportunity to use and develop that attribute. Create them intentionally so you are aware and prepared to help your children in those situations.
  4. Focus on a attribute or topic for at least a week. Giving a decent amount of time for you to be able to see the fruits of your labor. Repetition is the key to developing a new skill or attribute so be patient and Don’t expect results overnight.

IMG_4833small

Here is an example of what I do with my child to practice conscious parenting. Your methods will be different because your values and things you want to teach your child will be different from mine. Being aware of what you want your child to learn will help you implement different activities you want them to do each day. They will be a little tricky to get use to at first but the more you do it the more natural it becomes for both of you.

My daughter is 14 months. Core things I want her for her to learn:

  • Creativity – I let her watch a show every other day so she has little to no screen time. I give her time to explore outside on her own and find things to play with.
  • Positive Self Image – I have affirmations in her bedroom that I read with her every morning. I wrote them on her mirror so she loves looking at herself and doing actions with them.
  • Faith – I pray with my daughter before getting her out of her crib each morning and before she sleeps. We also pray before we eat and although she doesn’t know why we do this we do this to form a habit and as she gets older will start to understand why we do it.
  • Independance – I allow her to sit at the adults table and when she is done to put her dishes in the sink.
  • Manners – I emphasize please and thank you if ever she wants something.
  • Calming Techniques – We practice taking two deep breaths whenever she is throwing a tantrum. Just give her some time (ignore) her until she is ready to talk to us.
  • Alphabet Recognition – each time we pass the alphabet on the fridge we say and sing ABC.

What do you consciously teach your child? What are some things you teach your child? How do find the balance between always teaching and having a break? Share and comment below would love to hear your thoughts!


Power of Forgiveness {Inner Beauty Series}

At some point or numerous points in our lifetime we will come across a time when we will need to forgive others for wrongs that have been done against us. But many a time there will also be times when we will need to ask for forgiveness for wrongs we have done against others.

Forgiveness is a pill that we all need to swallow at some point so we too can benefit from it later on. To me it’s a double edge sword, I think that if I hold a grudge against someone I am hurting them but little do I realise the only person that I am hurting is myself. I heard a quote once that not forgiving somebody is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. It’s so true when we don’t allow that person to be forgiven our freedom is taken away, we are letting that person govern our feelings instead of us taking control. The funny thing is the person that we have the grudge against majority of the time doesn’t realize we have it and our living a happy life unknown to your bitter feelings towards them. These bitter feelings can also cause other problems such as health problems, depression, anxiety if we don’t choose to release them through forgiveness.

I the Lord will forgive whomever I want but of you it is required to forgive all men.

How can we forgive someone who has hurt us?

  • Take a step into their shoes many times people have their own issues they don’t realise. They may be reacting to problems that are going on internally. Having compassion and understanding and sympathy for them will help you forgive them and  you may be able to help them come to a realisation of their actions.
  • Take a look at the bigger picture. Has there been a time you have needed forgiveness? Ask yourself how would I feel if I wasn’t forgiven?
  • Write a letter to that person. This doesn’t have to be sent to them this can be just for you to express your feelings towards this person and once its written you may want to burn it to symbolize your letting go and forgiving them.
  • Pray for the spirit of forgiveness. Pray ask God to help you see that person how God views them. If you can envision this person in Gods eyes you may be able to develop a greater love for that individual.

Remembering that forgiveness is a two way street. Forgive in order to be Forgiven. Just because you forgive it doesn’t mean you will forget. And Forgiveness can take a long time for some people. It took my a couple of years to forgive somebody who is very close to me. We are all in our own journey of forgiveness but once you can release it you will gain freedom to move forward and have power of your life so you are not a victim to circumstances.

Forgiveness may cost you your pride but not forgiving will cost you your freedom

Best Wishes my lovelies! xox



Page 3 of 512345