Parenthood


Recognizing Signs of Emotional Abuse

IMG_4652smallRecognizing whether somebody is in a physically abusive relationship is a lot easier than noticing if somebody is in an emotionally abusive relationship. As time goes on we may become tolerant to this and accept the emotional abuse and make excuses for this. To a certain extent we don’t need to tolerate this but we can find ways to help them learn better habits. If they don’t see there is a problem and a need for them to change then seeing professional help may be the next step.

(Source: psychcentral.com)

  1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
    • Does anyone make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
    • Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
    • When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
    • Does anyone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?
  2. Domination, control, and shame:
    • Do you feel that the person treats you like a child?
    • Do they constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
    • Do they remind you of your shortcomings?
    • Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
  3. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
    • Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
    • Are they unable to laugh at themselves?
    • Do they have trouble apologizing?
    • Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
  4. Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
    • Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?
    • Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
    • Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
    • Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
  5. Codependence and enmeshment:
    • Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?
    • Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
    • Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
    • Do they require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?

If reflecting on these question you see many in your relationship. It may be time to be open with your partner. It could be as simple as doing this test together and evaluating the outcome together. I am grateful my husband had the courage to be open with his feelings with me and to let me know that he was hurting from how I was treating him. It didn’t come overnight for me to recognize my behavior but in time it did. But if it goes beyond your abilities there is plenty of support out there to work through this.

Would love your feedback and comments about this. Let me know what you think. If you or somebody you know is going through something like this I would love to talk about or message me at info@ourhappytalk.com

Be Amazing!!! xo Tracy


Marriage Spotlight: Fitness and Motherhood

Julie is 25 years old and is a wife and a mother to two beautiful girls. She has been married for 3 and a half years and is a dedicated runner and fitness motivator on her social media platforms. She has some awesome motivational posts @fitbusy_mom on instagram. We are so blessed to have her share some personal insights about marriage and family.

julie

1: What are 3 things you value most about your marriage?

The companionship, our children and the team work we do.

2: What has been the biggest adjustment for you being married?

For me it has been learning, understanding and respecting my husband’s ideologies. We grew up in different countries and completely different way of living. So our ideologies are very different. He grew up in a very small town in Central America with the very basic needs and I grew up here (US). Even though I didn’t have luxuries I did have a little more than he did with many more opportunities. So, that makes us see situations differently.

3: What was the best advice someone gave you for marriage?

I’ve been giving many advices from different people, and I don’t remember the exact words of the one that stood out the most but I do remember it said something like ” if you put your spouse other first, your marriage will last our life time.”

4: What have you done to get through your tough times in marriage?

Think and pray. Every time something difficult is going on I turn to my Heavenly Father, no one can give me better guidance.

5: What has been the most enjoyable part of being married?

I would say everything, the happy and difficult moments. They have made our marriage stronger and we’ve gotten to know each other more.

Any other comments: marriage isn’t easy, I’ve read that marriages only have happy Moments. We did not married perfection but someone with lots of potential. If we turn to Heavenly Father, always staying close to him and asking for his guidance he will be there for us, making our lives better and marriages easier.

juliefam


Toddler Affirmations

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(Bracelet by: Just an Arm full of Sugar)

Aroha was born with a bilateral cleft lip. Before she was born I had no clue what this was or how she got it but all I knew it was here to stay even after the surgeries. The biggest fear I had when I found this out was how was I going to be a support to her as she starts to grow older and realize she was a little different physically than the other children. Once a little girl myself I knew how it was to grow up being a girl and surrounded by all the media and how much it focused and preyed on women’s self-esteem and confidence, I also knew that kids were just plain honest and upfront whether they hurt feelings or not. I knew that even after her surgeries there will still be scarring.

So for the longest time I was saddened in what will I say when or if she came home crying being teased, or no one would play with her and if didn’t want to go to school because of the kids, or when she didn’t want to look in the mirror, or when she would say she wasn’t pretty. How could I help her know that she was special, beautiful that we are all different in our unique ways and it is awesome to be yourself?

Being into all this self-development jazz myself and applying them into my life, a light bulb went off in my head. If I as an adult uses affirmations to change my mindset why can’t my daughter?? I then came up with some simple affirmations for both her and I that we could recite together. .

I AM BEAUTIFUL

I AM BLESSED

I AM LOVED

I then wrote these affirmations on her bedroom mirror and made it a habit that after morning prayers we would look into the mirror and say these together. Sometimes we will also recite it in the bathroom mirror while brushing our teeth. I also did little actions with each word so she could do them because she could barely even talk. Aroha loves doing the little actions in the mirror and I love saying them because it helps me remember these important truths as well as well.

Reminding her she is beautiful no matter what anybody else says about her. The most important person that needs to think you are beautiful is yourself. I am Blessed is so she remembers that she has so many blessings in her life both big and small. And I am loved is so she remembers that she is forever loved by her parents, herself and God. Although she does not fully understand the whole concept behind repeating these phrases everyday I am hoping I am planting some little seeds that  will be planted to come to remembrance when the right time and place comes.

Have you thought about affirmations with your children? What are some words you use? If you have any thoughts questions or comments about building relationships with your children I would love to talk to you. Feel free to send me a message at info@ourhappytalk.com.

xo Be Amazing!!!

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Joking or Emotional Abuse

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Realization

We all know how it feels to be physically abused. But emotional abuse is something that has just shed light on me in the last year of being married. It started when a friend was talking about her step-mother being emotionally abusive to her father and how it was terrible for her and her family. I asked her what things did she do.. she went on to describe the things she did and I laughed and said “that’s everything I do and that’s totally my childhood of my family and other families I knew!” She didn’t seem to find it as funny as I did. I guess what was normal to me wasn’t so normal to somebody else. We ended that conversation awkwardly but it left me with the desire to further understand what emotional abuse was.

Generational Pattern

Emotional abuse is a more difficult to recognize and can go by unnoticed in a relationship for a very long time. Growing up in a polynesian community it is renowned fact that men are generally speaking the physical abusers. But thinking about the emotional abuse, I grew up seeing this mainly in the women in my family and community. Emotional abuse doesn’t just happen in couples in can happen in friendships between parent and child or with relatives.

Emotional abuse is when there is a regular occurrence of bullying, criticism, shaming, manipulation, verbal abuse etc. Growing up mocking and putting down was a tactic to motivate someone to do better, and just for entertainment. We use to just keep mocking until that person cried and that was usually the goal and it would be jackpot if they ended up crying. It was completely normal although many times we were really hurt inside but couldn’t show that we hurt otherwise we would be mocked even more. Mocking can be disguised as fun and jokes but usually are very personal and offend one to the point that it seeps into their subconscious.

For me I did notice that I was hurting my husband but I just kept telling him he needed to toughen up and man up to not take my mocks to heart. Or that he was just being too sensitive. What I didn’t realize is that It really did hurt him personally, and it made him feel less and insignificant and that is what mattered not what I thought but how he took it. It took me a while but I really didn’t learn and see examples of healthy communication around me that was the only form of communication I had learnt so I had to pick up on some healthy habits quickly.

Break the Cycle

While mocking take a moment to think are you trying to gain power over somebody. This is a key factor to bulling or being emotional abuse you want to be in power you want to have control over somebody. A person who does this can have many reasons to why they do this. They may have been mocked or abused as a child and are hurting and the way they cope with it is by trying to hurt other people verbally.  Whatever the case be, see that person for more than their actions. There are usually deeper issues that lie beneath. I know that this was the case for me. Support them and show them love so they can learn from good examples. If necessary offer support and help or kindly refer them to a professional of some sort to work out through these issues.

Jokes are fun but when they go beyond the point of fun and are mean then we got to take a couple of steps back!

Would love your feedback and comments about this. Let me know what you think. If you or somebody you know is going through something like this I would love to talk about or message me at info@ourhappytalk.com

Be Amazing!!! xo Tracy

 

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5 Ways to Boost the Romance

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Keeping the spark alive can be difficult in marriage when you have been married for so long and then to add on top of that you both are crazy busy, with school, work, the children, church or community responsibilities and everything else that life throws at you. Sometimes you throw your marriage in the backseat! I know for us that’s how it feels like sometimes when my husband is hardly home. So today I just wanted to share a few things to keep the fire burning even when you have a billion things going on.

  1. Schedule Date Night/Hour – This is a must you need alone time together without the kids if you don’t have a whole night squeeze in an hour. We have also made it more of an effort to schedule it in before the week has started so that we don’t let it be the last thing on our mind to do. So grab a calendar and pencil in your date nights before something comes in and fills up your week without even realising it. Also make your date nights simple and not overly complicated and neither of you want to plan it out. For us we just spend an hour walking around the block, or we just grab and ice-cream to talk about our week. This makes it easy to fit in the budget and not overwhelming it will put you off.
  2. Overnight Getaway – My husband have made it a goal to do this 4 times a year where we can just go away for a night and not be woken up in the morning by our toddler. Decide what is feasible for you and your family. This is another thing you need to pencil into your yearly calendar. If you haven’t noticed I love planning and scheduling therefore finding a time together with your spouse to plan is essential for your marriage if you do it for your finances or at work why not for your love life? Plus the bonus part about knowing your overnight getaways you can split it up and each of you can take turns deciding where you want to go and what you want to do. Plus you can also find some really good deals ahead of time and find reliable babysitters for the little ones.
  3. Sexual Intimacy – Yeah we all get tired at the end of the day and this may seem like the last thing on our minds so make and effort to squeeze it in anytime during the day even if its only a little quickie. This relieves stresses and help you bond for a few minutes together if nothing else.
  4. Send extra love through the day – An extra thank you note in his lunch box, email or phone can do immense things for each other during the day. Just letting them know you love them in a different way can make all the difference in a horrible hard day.
  5. Kiss and Hug  Often – Just kissing more can change lots find any opportunity to randomly kiss or hug him or a simple touch can help the other spouse feel loved, and supported.

What are ways you and your spouse have tried to increase the romance in your marriage? Would love to hear your thoughts. If you have more questions on increasing romance or improving your marriage relationship I would love to hear from you. Email me at info@ourhappytalk.com or book a discovery call today!


Marriage Advice from a Cowgirl

 

Our story began in the Summer of 1993 at a church convention in Chugwater, Wyoming. Cody was single, I was not!We exchanged addresses and wrote a few letters throughout the years.

In October of 1997, I was a senior in High School.  I was very active in volleyball and had just experienced a rough break up with a boy. I had a “NONBOY” attitude.My mother decided that I needed to attend a church convention in Kansas. She insisted that I go. I went by myself and I can remember thinking, “Why am I going?” I made a little detour and was a little late getting to the convention. You see, I really didn’t want to go and I felt like I had my life in control.  Turns out that I need to attend that convention.  I think my mom and God talked to each other. I sat at a lunch table, when I heard this, “Naomi, can you please pass the tea?” I about fell off my chair. Cody Loomis remembered my name.

To tell you the truth I cannot remember a thing that the preachers talked about. All I can remember was the butterflies in my stomach and the long walks that we went on.After the convention was over, I drove Cody to his ranch and we went on a horseback ride.  We talked about our faults, our weaknesses, our goals in life, our fears, our past relationships, and our future. I can remember leaving his ranch that night and thanking God that I went to Kansas.

In September of 1998, Cody took a knee and asked me to be his wife. I said, “YES”. Two weeks later in Lone Tree Canyon, east of Chugwater, Wyoming we said these vows:

“You are my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.” We celebrated 17 years of marriage in October. I’m surprised by how fast the years have gone by.

When I think back on our dating days and then our wedding day, it was filled with such hope and promises. Our love was blossoming and a new life was beginning for both of us. In the course of these 17 years, we’ve learned a great deal about ourselves and about each other. About the importance of marriage and why it’s worth fighting for. We were young, in love and ready for marriage when we said yes in our late teens, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we knew how to have a great marriage.

17 years later, here are 12 lessons that have been clarified for us in our marriage:

  1. The 50/50 Game Doesn’t Work.

For a season, we view marriage like it is a game, a competition. If I do this, you should do that. Meet me in the middle here, do a little more there. If you do 50 things, I’ll do 50. That sort of game. But, true love is shown when one of us can’t get to the middle. Then, it’s up to the other to go the extra mile. Maybe that ratio is 90/10 for a season if one of us is sick, stressed, or even depressed. Don’t view marriage as a scorecard. Someone always loses that way.

  1. Keep Adventure Alive.

Fighting to keep adventure alive doesn’t have to be extravagant. Maybe it’s a small drive with no kids, or maybe you shut the door to your bedroom, maybe its a date to a feeder meeting, or a surprise baby sitter for the evening or even a simple handwritten note. One of our favorites is a horse back ride!

  1. Kiss, Hug & Hold Each Other.

This is a hard one but probably one of the most important. Make a point to kiss and hug your spouse each morning and night. When you’re leaving and arriving too.  I challenge each of you to try this.  It makes a huge difference in your day and night. Be the one to make the move first, don’t always wait for the other. I also challenge you to hold hands, it rekindles the flame!

  1. Grit Is Often The Best Description Of Love.

When we where newlyweds love was easy, but after years real life can get chaotic, stressful, and confusing.  The answer is to dig your boots in when life gets hard.

  1. Real Life Happens In The Mundane.

Babies being born, buying a piece of land, buying a new car are the peaks of marriage, and they are great. However, most normal days are mundane. I’ve been guilty of missing the little moments while I work to make the big ones happen. I’m realizing that life happens in those little moments. I’m learning to love the journey, every bit, as much as the destination.

  1. Proximity Doesn’t Equal Presence.

Being physically close isn’t the same as being close emotionally. We need to put away our phones and listen to each other’s hearts.  Life is busy; when you have the ability to be together physically, it is important be there emotionally as well.

  1. Comparison Will Kill.

In an age of social media it’s easy to feel like your marriage sucks.  It does our relationship no good when we compare our money, house, kids’ performance and marriage to others through social media. We will become the losers. It robs our joy.

  1. Don’t Throw It Away.

Each day we need to keep choosing each other.  When our going gets a little rough, I remember our wedding day or the birth our kids and decide that it will pay to keep our spark alive. We need to be honest about when we fail. It will be worth it.

  1. Giving & Serving. 

Are we giving and serving? Or are we only taking and using? Life is best when we are giving ourself away for the benefit of  the other.

  1. Live In Community.

Nobody told me that marriage is hard. It can be beautiful and redeeming. When we chose to surround our self with friends and family who know your strengths as well as your struggles, you realize you have support and encouragement.

 

Naomi Loomis

http://fromthecornerofthecirclel.blogspot.com/

Faith_Family_Ranching

 

I’m Naomi Loomis and I am a rancher from the Sandhills of Nebraska. My husband, our 4 kids and myself are raising the next generation of ranchers and cattle. My blog gives you a glimpse of our ranch and our story—all to better connect consumers with ranchers. Visit me at www.fromthecornerofthecirclel.blogspot.com.

 


Exercising My Courage Muscles

By Jasmine Hewitt who blogs at LoveLifeLaughMotherhood. I am so excited that she is sharing some timeless advice for us mothers who constantly exercise courage at all stages of our life. I love the she says the more we do it the stronger our courage gets!

I can never fully remember who it is, but there’s a famous quote about one’s courage being much like a muscle, and that it needed to be exercised regularly. If being a Mom has taught me anything this past year, it’s that you must never fall slack of your exercise.

I was a pretty courageous person before I discovered I was pregnant, but now looking back, I imagine my courage sitting on an incredibly comfortable couch, eating nachos, and not wanting to be bothered unless provoked. Those two little blue lines not only provoked, but knocked the bowl of nachos out of my courage’s hands and challenged  it to get up and moving! Ok, not literally, but that sounded better than the initial panic attack that ensued.

But with each day of my pregnancy, I worked up just a little more courage than the day before, and began my preparations for motherhood. I read everything I could about what to expect with labor, caring for a newborn, raising an infant-all the while doing the best I could to stay calm and not let panic set in. Not long after the beginning of my second trimester, my then fiance went to study abroad in Russia, and we thought wouldn’t be back in time for my delivery. Saying goodbye for the next few months, I wanted to disappear into a bag of Cheetos and never emerge until after my baby was already born and my soon-to-be husband returned. My inner Courage wouldn’t let me. It was important to my baby and myself to not be tempted into becoming depressed. So I pressed forward, and we (my baby, my Courage and I) got a little stronger every day. Then my future husband made it back early by dropping classes! And I didn’t have to go it alone…but I wasn’t ever really alone. My Courage was with me.

You would think after the birth of our son, my Courage could have retreated back to the couch with snack foods, but that’s when I really needed it the most. To get me through the long days, and sleepless nights of new motherhood. To encourage me when I felt downtrodden. To tell me that everything would be worth it in the end. I needed it again when snotty scantimommies said things about our cloth diapers, or how I shouldn’t vaccinate my child, or why I should just let him “cry it out” at less than a few months old. I needed to be able to defend my parenting decisions, and to do that, I needed my courage.

After having to use it for so long, my Courage still hasn’t made it back to the couch to chill until necessary. It’s up bright and early each day, doing squats and whispering, ‘We got this!’ in my ear.

I know I’m going to need it for the future ahead-potty training, first day of school, first slumber party away from home. Lots of ‘firsts.’ But after all this time, it should be much easier to get my ‘courage’ into gear-it’s been exercising a while now, and is pretty strong.

That’s my advice for anyone, especially mothers, who are having trouble with dealing with life changing events, or even just the day-to-day difficulties of putting up with people. Use your courage every time, to help propel and defend yourself. Exercise that sucker every way you can-sure you’re perfectly capable of pulling it off your ‘inner couch’ whenever necessary, but the more it’s exercised and used, the stronger and tougher it will be.  Meet those life-moments and ‘firsts’, head on. You can build the strength to face them and conquer.  Don’t back down from criticism of your parenting decisions – you know what’s best for your child. Stand up for your beliefs. Keep your courage on a regular workout plan, by using it whenever you can. When those really big difficulties seem like they are bearing down on you, you will be glad you exercised.

My PhotoFor more fun articles of motherhood and family visit LoveLifeLaughMotherhood. Jasmine is a first time mom to a sweet little boy, and a wife to an amazing husband. She’s a baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, tattooed lover of wine and Netflix. And squeezes blogging into her spare time. 


“Same Team Remember…”

How often do you see couples mock each other to a point where it gets really awkward. One of them would get offended or embarrassed then they would bring up something of the partner, it would then turn into a putting down session where each are digging out stories from the past.  That couple use to be my husband and I embarrassingly enough.

Not trying to justify my behaviour but my culture is a complete mocking culture. You mock until that person cries. Mocking is jokingly referred to as another way of expressing love. I’m positive that mocking is the 6th love language. But in all seriousness this is a very destructive behavior that can diminish our self-esteem and confidence. It may seem like fun and jokes for a while but repeated long enough can have negative effects on your relationship. If you need to tell jokes find something else not your spouse!

As of lately we have recognized how quickly we can spiral down when we start mocking each other especially in front of friends and family. Isn’t it crazy that we are putting down the person we love the most. Isn’t this the one person we should be showing most love and respect yet also the easiest to put down? What my husband and I have begun to do is that when one of us are going down the track of mocking, the other spouse as kindly as possible lovingly says “same team remember…” instead of starting with another story to combat. Saying “same team remember…” is telling your spouse in the kindest way that what they are sharing is either, embarrassing, offensive or mean to you whether they agree or not means they need to stop sharing that story or mocking. Applying this simple phrase has helped us so much avoid arguments, and feelings of anger and bitterness.

Do you and your spouse constantly put each other down? Do you want to improve your communication? Post your questions or thoughts down below or email me at info@ourhappytalk.com or schedule a free introductory coaching session with me.

 


Love YOURSELF!

You can’t give from an empty well.

There is a clear difference between being selfish, self centered and taking time to rejuvenate yourself. To me it’s the difference where one is the end in itself and the other is a means to an end. We woman have such a nurturing spirit that we always want to help serve and cater. Especially as mothers and wives we are always trying to support our children in their dreams and also our husbands in their goals sometimes we may forget about our own. Sometimes I even feel guilty that I have my own dreams and goals that I want to accomplish and am working towards.

But very often I have come across women who are burnt out and tired and exhausted because they are running around catering to those around them and have taken little to no time to look after ourselves feeling unappreciated for years of selfless service.

My Story

I had the mentality that if I take time to care for myself I am not being a good mother and all time should be to help my family. I shouldn’t dress up and put make up because that will mean I’m worrying and spending too much on myself and that is selfish. Sometimes I would even feel guilty for going to the gym because that is time away from my family although I would go in the morning before they woke up. Taking care of myself was the always the last priority, and any time should be used with husband baby even if that meant I was run down and awful to be with. It came to a breaking point where I just drove myself crazy being inside the house all the time with baby and my patience just wore thin with her, I would dread being at home all day long and be miserable when my husband finished work.

“It’s a not a luxury, it’s a must which you shouldn’t feel guilty about. Mums especially are good at shuffling themselves to the bottom of the pack and naturally looking after family and friends before themselves.” Lorraine Thomas, Chief Executive of the Parent Coaching Academy.

Things to Remember:

  1. Me Time isn’t selfish but it does allow you to share your whole self with those you love. If you don’t allow time to rest and refuel then what you give your family isn’t your personal best
  2. Self-care is an important part of motherhood. Whether its reading a book alone, going to the gym, or getting a pedicure, looking after your physical will help you feel better inwards. Your confidence will increase and help you feel like you have life by the horns! (even if it’s only for 30mins)
  3. Your children benefit directly from your personal growth. Growing your life allows you to share more of you with your children. Your children will be able to learn that they need some time out too.
  4. You don’t have to wait till bed time to have “Me time.” You can sneak it in throughout the day when baby is at the park I take my book along in case she leaves me alone for more than 5mins.

The biggest lesson I learnt is that I can’t be dependant on other people for my happiness. I am my own creator of happiness. I can’t expect my husband to make me happy all the time or my children or job or friends. When all is said and done and you have nothing left in the world the only person to make you happy is yourself and if you can’t make yourself happy who else will?

Be Amazing!

Love Tracylesieli


Intentional Marriages

WHITESMarriage requires constant work and effort but nevertheless can be the most rewarding commitments one can make in their lifetime. I don’t know how it is for some people but for me I had a lot of changes I had to make. I didn’t realise how selfish I was, I didn’t realise how prideful I was, how to communicate my feelings effectively and the list goes on all of this became so evident in our first year of marriage. I doubted my marriage decisions many a time and even if I was worthy to be married to anybody.  Not to mention I was pregnant 4 months later and was feeling self conscious about my self confidence kept declining not to mention a lot more hormones adding to the mix.  It was a very bumpy road and therefore we had to be very intentional about our marriage or it would literally fall apart. We both had a lot to learn and still do  but today I wanted to share some things that we did and currently do.

  •  God First: Putting God first has immense power. When you put God first you have the desire to be patient, understanding, forgiving and helps you put things in perspective. Take a look at the blog post which I dedicate to this topic. Includes praying and reading together often like everyday! This can help you before problems occur. Reading the scriptures and praying together enables you to have strength to have your priorities in order. 
  • Love languages: The wonderful book by Gary Chapman. I did a video about this forever ago. But understanding each others love language really helped me understand how I can show love to him. In fact reading any books on love and marriage can help propel your marriage.
  • Self Time and Date Time: We need alone time. I didn’t realise this until recently but we need time to ourselves individually or doing something that you enjoy. Sometimes that might be with just the girls or the boys. And date time you need to make date night a priority with you two alone to keep the fire blazing!
  • Recognize the underlying problems: Sometimes because your spouse doesn’t want to go to your parents house isn’t because they don’t like them but because they don’t feel they spend enough time with you. Try digging a litte deeper to find out what the real problems may be.
  • Communication: Can’t get enough of this one. Words, Tone, Body language have a big impact on our communication especially in the most sensitive time. Be aware of what you are communicating to each other. Pay attention to your body language because it may send messages you don’t want them to take the wrong way.
  • Calming Techniques: This is the hardest area for me. Letting your husband you just need some time to think it over is better than just storming off. Before you let your top blow off try counting to 10 , taking deep breaths or any other calming techniques. The best time to talk is when you are both level headed.

Marriage is a journey full of ups and downs. Enjoy the ride as you grow closer each day. How are you being intentional with your marriage? I would love to hear some of your tips. Comment and share if you found this useful.

Thanks



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