Our Secret to Perfecting Love
There are too many books too many advice on Love and Relationships. How to obtain it, how to strengthen it, how to find for it, or even how we lose it. But we only have one simple strategy.
My husband and I met while we were serving full time missions for our church. But our love story didn’t officially begin until we returned home and started dating other people. I lived in New Zealand working as a teacher and also attended graduate school, while he was working and attended school in Utah. It all started with a simple message on facebook eventually led to skyping each night. Without ever having a physical relationship we decided we were going to date exclusively. You can imagine how difficult this was to tell your family and friends you are dating someone halfway across the world that you have never kissed, held hands or even hugged.
Because of the distance we had to rely wholeheartedly on God to give us our answers on whether we were to be together or not. Both being broke students we couldn’t just jump on a plane to go halfway across the world. So we prayed and fasted fervently to receive answers whether this is what God wanted for us. Eventually on several occasions we both received our spiritual confirmations. I then flew to Utah for just over a week to meet his family and to make sure he and his family was “normal” haha. Conner then flew to N.Z to meet my family and be with us for a few months. It was not all pink hearts and daisies it was rough for the both of us as we had to learn to adjust to each others families, lifestyle and culture. (Especially seeing I was the first Polynesian girl Conner had actually had a conversation with.) But during this period of transition we always had to rely on the spiritual confirmations we received from God on being together. Even once we were married for the first couple of months it was extremely rough, especially for me being away from my family and adjusting to married life. But I am so grateful that my husband and I had both set a deep spiritual foundations in which we could always fall back on. (Especially grateful for my husbands commitment, patience and humility with me during this time.)
How does a relationship with God help and strengthen our marriage you may wonder?
Because we CHOOSE to be DEPENDENT on a never-failing, all forgiving, completely loving, all-knowing, all-powerful creator. We know that He will never fail us. We ourselves are on a journey to be more like Jesus Christ therefore because Jesus was patient we try to more patient with the faults and weaknesses of others. We also hope for patience from others with our shortcomings. We love even when sometimes we feel we don’t get love in return just like Jesus was to those who persecuted Him. We look to be selfless and serve each other as our Savior was selfless and gave His life for us. We endeavor to be humble and let go of pride when we get in silly arguments. There are so many attributes we can develop to be become better wives, mothers, husbands and fathers as we look towards God and Jesus as our examples. Our marriage will become that of strengthening and building each other instead of belittling and competing with one another. The love triangle allows us to look towards God as our example for how we should treat and love our families. We have a perfect example that we can follow to create happier and eternal marriages and families.
Below is the spiritual love triangle, it is pretty self explanatory. The closer each of us move towards God in our own personal relationships with God, the closer we would come together in our marriage.
For me this triangular model works time and time again. This model only fails when one of us are putting ourselves before God or not strengthening our relationship with God. This is why I wholeheartedly believe that marriage is a 3 way relationship with God. Marriage is from God and he has given us a way to create a happy family life. We can not and should not take him out of the equation. I pray that we will remember this as we build and strengthen our personal family relationships.
Marriage is a Gift from God to us the quality of our marriage is our Gift to God
Remember you are of Infinite worth and are amazing beyond measure!!