Avoiding the Relationship Anger Trap

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So you walk in the house nearly tripping over one of the toys, feeling hungry and tired you realize dinner isn’t ready. Your children are running around the house screaming and playing and accidentally spill something on your shirt. Then your spouse greets you with “can you to help out with getting the kids ready for dinner?” You snap with frustration wishing that you had just stayed at work away from the chaos and the mess!!

Does this sound familiar to any of you out there?? Or maybe you have an argument and then later thinking what the argument was even about? Or you remember you snapped because or something insignificant like they didn’t call you back. I know this has happened to me many times before.

Energydrivenler.com  have called these scenarios the Relationship Anger Trap – When things may not be going well at work, or in some other area of your life, and you let it build and build until you inevitably fall into this trap. It is usually a sequence of things that build up to the breaking point. It can be easily damaging to both your personal and professional relationships.

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The point is we build up frustration points little by little every day and  sometimes it can be over several days or weeks, eventually it has to be released somewhere. It’s sad, but the easiest place to release it is with the person you love or people you care for the most.

I know that for me my husband is the easiest one to get angry at, therefore I let my frustrations out on him which is totally not fair. A day may consist of a whiny clingy baby, then my parents or in-laws were frustrating me, my friend may have said something to offend me, the person at the grocery store looked angrily at my crying baby then lastly my husband walks through the door and he sits on the couch!!! All of sudden I get into hulk mode blow up at him for not coming to help me with getting dinner ready and say how terrible of a husband he is. My poor husband has no idea what my day was like then he gets mad at me for just yelling at him. (We are in this downward spiraling cycle) Little do I know he may have also had just as bad a day at school and work as well. RESULT: We both end up going the rest of the night angry and frustrated and not talking to each other… BAM we have been trapped in the Relationship Anger Trap!!! so crazy how small things can just end up in this huge mess right???!

For the unmarried sometimes we treat our parents, siblings or close friends this way and not realize how much we are hurting them. energydrivenleader.com have provided some suggestions…

  1. Make mental notes of any frustrations that have occurred during the day. Then decide what action you will take, or throw it into the mental trash bucket in your head.
  2. Never interpret what you “think” someone means in an email – call to clarify. I know I have been guilty of reading a text and made up a whole story that they must be angry at me because they responded this way. Communication is key!!!
  3. For working parents – before you walk through the door of your home give yourself a good shake (physically do this). Don’t carry tomorrow’s issues into your home. Charles Haddon Spurgeon stated, “It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow but only empties today  of its strength.” learn more

There are thousands of things a relationship can do for someone. One of the most important is to present a mirror into our own behavior. Positive or negative we have the possibility to grow as a result of our relationships at work and home.

Dr Bob Rausch has developed many courses to help individuals ensure they have a balance between both work and home and to maintain healthy relationships wherever we go. If you are interested in learning more about leadership and ensuring you have the work life balance check out their website here they have many helpful articles for leaders who want to inspire and uplift those around them.

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You are Not your Own!

Firstly I would like to start off by saying, I am so grateful that we get to go on sunday to church and to worship with one another and to learn from one another. I am also so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who answers prayers and knows the desires of our hearts.  I know that of course he doesn’t answer them when and how we want them but when He knows it’s right for us.

Why do I feel such gratitude you may be wondering… Well today in Sunday School I felt like Heavenly Father answered one of my many concerns.  For a really long time I have always debated in my mind the idea of dressing the way that I want! I always questioned why should I follow the council of the strength of youth? why should I dress modestly? why does what we wear even matter because I know the Lord looketh on the heart and not the outward appearance. I personally have a love of tattoos, I love crazy piercings and I love outrageous colour hair and I am always tempted to do one of them these days, although I know that it does go against the counsel of our brethren. I know it may seem silly to many of you out there but I feel that is one of my many weaknesses. To me I feel like the way I dress expresses who I am, how I feel on different days, it’s my own personal way of expression without words.

To start off the class the sunday school teacher posed a question. “What we need to do in order to maintain the Spirit with us?”  We then moved on to a deep in-depth discussion about the commandments vs councils from the brethren. Then at the end of the class we ended on this scripture 1st Corinthians 6.19

19. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20. For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.TC2013 (1099)c

It was like something just struck me on the head and I was dumbstruck. Firstly My body is a temple! I know that we hear that all the time that sometimes it loses meaning. But if we continue and actually think about it our body is a temple FOR the Spirit, you house the Holy Spirit in your body. You yes YOU.. house one of the most powerful SPIRIT in your body!!! Just ponder that for a moment. (It’s like the most powerful person in the world coming to visit your house what would you do?) I don’t think we ever stop to contemplate that ever!!! So of course we need to look after our body in thoughts, words and actions and also physically. (Would you just clean the inside of your house and not mow or clean the outside of your house if you had a special visitor) We need to treat our body as a temple so the Spirit will want to be there. I know for me I need the Spirit in my life, I need it to guide my every move and footstep, I need the Spirit to stay with me because I am so dependant on It for the vital things I do as a mother and a wife every minute of every day.  I know for me when I dress “immodestly” I feel that my behaviour changes as well, and I know that others treat me differently as well. (This may not be the same for others but it is for me)

And my second but vital point is “We are not our own we have been bought with a price”!!!! Yikes that is powerful!!! Yes I am an individual but my body is used to glorify God not bring attention to myself. I know I am totally guilty of this many times I get caught up in how I dress so people can look at me, look at my style, look how trendy, funky, crazy I am!!! Little do I know how much this distracts me from becoming the daughter that God wants me to be. My purpose here on earth is to bring others to Christ, for when people see me they should see Christ not see me TRACY!!! I am supposed to be an instrument in His hands to build up His kingdom. Our bodies our instruments to be used for good not an ornament on display.  Before you walk out that door out into the world whether its school, work, or church does your entire countenance say “I am a daughter or son of God?” Ask yourself “Will they see God through me or is my outfit or my behaviour too distracting and loud?” It is the whole package physical, words, thoughts and actions that will determine whether your Body is a Temple for the Holy Spirit of God.

Although the debate of modesty goes on every morning in front of the mirror, I know that Heavenly Father has given me my answer. It’s not easy especially with all media that satan uses to tell us to be more selfish and self-centered.  But Heavenly Father has given us the Spirit to help us look beyond that so we can see our real purpose our real potential. That we are worth is immeasurable. You are not your own! You are more than what you can even comprehend!!!!!!

xo


My Dream Perfect Day

As mothers and wives we wish we had those perfect days where everything would go smoothly. Kids wouldn’t fight us to get to bed, they will eat all their food we put in front of them, and maybe just maybe husbands would come home and immediately help with the children. I know it sounds like a blissful dream, but I am determined to make it into some kind of reality….(reality as in 80-95% goes to plan)  I know it would be a miracle if I was to ever experience a perfect day but just for the sake of day dreaming and keeping my hopes alive right…. arohaandi

Some of you working mothers are already saying you already have a blissful life you are at home with your baby what more can you want… I guess I would prefer to have a little more structure in my day instead of just doing things randomly…

6.00am Wake Up and Meditate Read Scriptures

7.00am Workout

8.00am Breakfast for baby and I

8.30am Baby Playtime on her own. I pick up things around the house and get ready for the day

10.00am Morning Naptime for baby and I Work on my “Work”

11.30am Wake Up from nap and have lunch for both of us

12.30pm Do an activity/park, playdate, play games play alone Preferably I join in on this activity

2.30pm Afternoon Nap for both or I get back to “Work”

4.30pm Baby Wakes up and we start picking up the mess and get dinner ready

5.30pm Daddy and dinner time

6.30pm Playtime

7.30pm Get ready for bed or bathtime

8.30pm Baby is in bed Mum goes back and does a bit of “Work”

9.30pm Mummy and Daddytime

10.30pm Light OUT!!!!

So this is what my perfect day would look like.. I know there isn’t anything crazy exciting or different about this day. But if I could make dinner and have the house clean before my husband got home would be a miracle!!  So I hope he doesn’t get his hopes up to much that this will happen.  Usually my day consists of accomplishing a few of these things of my list to do generally not all of them as it would be a miracle if she slept perfectly at these times too!!!

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So if you got to have a perfect day what would it look like? or for you who don’t have kids what would your perfect day consist of??? Comment and share your thoughts below! :)

 

 

 

 

 


Summer Family Actvities

Seeing everybody going on vacation to fun places this summer makes me want to go on a vacation too!!!! Hawaii, Mexico a Cruise anything!!! But I have to remind myself to look at my blessings and what we have done as a family and be grateful for those things instead of wishing for things we don’t have especially seeing we have a 4week long vacation in December. So while in this thought process I have compiled a list of small things we did this summer instead of going on a big vacation. So if you are like me and are stuck at home this summer here are some things you can do as a family to make the most of it!!!!

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1. HIKES: We went on a family walk/hike up to this waterfall it was a small  easy walk but with a nice view at the end. This is fun just for an afternoon activity. I think once baby gets a bit older and she doesn’t need as many naps throughout the day we may do a half day hike and picnic at the top.

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2. Lakes/Beaches: Conners parents have a condo up at bearlake so at least twice in the summer we go up with the family. It really is a site for my sore eyes. Living so close to the beach in New Zealand makes me miss it so much more since I’m away from it. But there are lots of things to do up here in the summer time.

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3. Picnic/BBQ: We have had lots of fun packed lunch picnics at parks and bbqs with friends. What better time to enjoy eating outside than in the summer time. Plus baby loves being outside and she can make as much mess as she likes and I don’t have to worry about cleaning up!

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4. Fireworks: I think we went at least 3 firework shows this summer. The shows were entertaining but I think Conner enjoyed them a lot more than baby did. I think as she gets older it will be way more fun for her. Also it was always past her nap time which was kind of annoying as it messed up her schedules.

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5. Theme parks: This summer we were lucky we were able to go to Lagoon for free with Conner’s work, unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures while we were there. We lost our keys and phone on one of the rides as well. This photo was taken at a little park that had a mini golf and other small games in the park we did on a friday afternoon with Conners work as well. I just tagged along for the food.

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6. Outdoor Museums: So this is a pretty cool park that had indoor and outdoor museums dedicated to dinosaurs. They were everywhere literally felt like we were in Jurassic park. All sorts of fun trails but again baby was still young to know what was happening it was more for us to chat and hang out with some friends. Cost: Free on a Special Day

7. Fair Grounds: This was fun if you just want to go and walk around and see the petting zoo. We didn’t take baby with us because we were going to watch the demolition derby. But the fair has lots of fun shows to watch as well as carnival games to play. Only thing that stinks is you have to pay for every little activity you want to do inside and the over prices delicious food they have everywhere Cost: $6-$30

8. Swimming Pools/Splash Pads: What is summer without a visit to the swimming pools. Fun for both adults and the kiddies. We also had splash pads not to far away from us which is free. But if not just turn on the hose and play outside. Cost $5-$ p/person

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9. Tubing: One saturday afternoon we drove up to lava hot springs in Idaho and the entire family went down a river in tubes. It was super packed but fun. I could only handle so much of the river. Not a good activity for our little munchkin, someone always had to stay behind with her. Cost: Free if you have your own tubes.

There are lots and lots of fun activities to do in the summer time other ideas could include

  • outdoor concerts
  • Drive In Movies
  • Garden displays
  • Demolition Derby
  • Watching a Rodeo
  • Campout
  • Play Summer Sports/Games

What are some fun summer activities you and your family do? I am so excited to start building different summer traditions for our family. This is a good reminder that we can have fun and not have to break the bank by doing so!! So by posting this up it is a good reminder that I need to be grateful and content with all that I have been blessed with, beautiful family and all basic necessities of life. What more do you need?


ARTea Room – Food and ART

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Because I am a lover of all things beautifully vintage and antique, I am more than happy to write up about this cute ARTea Room for food and art. I am also a lover finding and eating at unique places, not your usual big chain restaurants, (even if that means I will be just eating a muffin.) I really do enjoy going out to eat as a family especially when I am in a unique cozy and warm atmosphere.

ARTea Room has the best of both worlds, imagine enjoying the company of both your favorite things, delicious food and beautiful artwork. Here at the ARTea room you can expect amazing service, finest quality teas, light breakfast and lunches, cakes, amazing artwork by talented artists and gifts for every occasion. 
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If you have special events coming up contact ARTea Room to see how they can help you  make it perfect. If you are in the area I am sure they would love for you to stop by have to have some cake or just take a stroll and look at their beautiful artwork collection. But if England is too far from you like it is from me their facebook page is just a click away!  I’ve got my fingers crossed that one day our travels might bring us to this little corner of the world!

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Have you thought about your Retirement?

bigstock_Past_Present_Future_Time_Co_4799792We all want money to be the last thing we are worrying about when we are 65, and have health problems and other things in life that are have higher priority. However have you actually sat down and tried to calculate how much it would cost for you and your spouse to retire. As of late this has been my husband and I dinner table discussions. Just imagining the horror of not being able to afford your doctors or utility bills at 65 and you can’t work to make extra money you need. That enough is giving me nightmares!

Retirement is definitely a subject that should be thought about when you hit your twenties. We can’t just solely rely on pensions or social security to provide for our needs. It just won’t be enough especially if you are use to living pretty comfortably. There are plenty of tools out there that can help us out if we don’t know where to get started!

1. Find and Use a retirement calculator. You need a basic overview or idea of what you will be roughly looking at. You will be able to easily see the amount you will in the bank by the time you retire, and how much you need  to save now to reach that amount.

2. Make some estimations of how much you will be spending on a monthly basis then calculate it for a year then times that by how many years approximately you think you will be alive for.

Considerations – Inflation rate always changes, interest rates are changing as well. How much your pension or social security will be and other sources of income you will be receiving when you are retired.

I averaged that my husband and I will need approximately 35,000 a year to maintain the standard we are living now.  So I calculate if we retire at 65 and will live till 95 that’s 30years times 35,000 which comes to $1,05000 in today’s dollars. So pretty much we will have a million dollars in the bank. (But our ultimate goal will be enough in the bank so we can live on the interest but let’s save that story for another day. )

4. Find somebody reliable that you can discuss your situation with. I have saved this for the last step, because you need to learn and do as much as you can first. You don’t want to meet with the financial guy and just agree to what they say is good for you. You need to have a good overview of your financial goals and how much you can afford before you go into the meeting. They will be able to help you figure out the best strategy of investing your money with the highest returns on your investment. You may also want to shop around with different financial people as you may find you prefer working with somebody is personable. This is your money and you don’t want it in just anybody’s hands. Conner and I are both trying to work this out and are currently in the process of this.

If anybody else has tips on ways to prepare for retirement comment below and share your ideas. We would love to all learn as this can be a daunting topic for most people.

 


PoshSoiree – Custom Party Decor

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I love supporting “mommy entrepreneurs” and this is just the case with this business.  It isn’t easy staying at home with baby and trying to run a side business at the same time. Some days are just so crazy hectic, all in a jumble and it feels like you haven’t made any progress. Other days you feel like superwoman, house is clean, baby is happy, and clients are satisfied with your work and if you are extra super, dinner is ready for the hubby!? (I haven’t quite made it that far but maybe one day… haha) This post is dedicated to Maninder Kaur, a mother who has turned one of her passions into a business where she expresses her creativity and love for good quality beautiful decor. p.s Looking at these pictures reminds me that I need to start planning for my babies first birthday not that she will remember it or anything, I guess it’s mainly for us, but her decor is way too beautiful to not share!!!

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The seed was planted for her to start this business began while she was pregnant with her daughter.  Once you know you are pregnant you have your work cut out for you, baby gear, baby clothes, pregnancy clothes getting the nursery ready, oh and the baby shower and that isn’t even touching the surface. But while trying to get the nursery ready for her new arrival she came across a problem of not finding good quality beautiful decor with the right colour schemes she was looking for. Luckily she was crafty herself and managed to make her own decor to the exact way that she wanted. Also ensuring that it was made with quality and love so that it could last a lifetime. She then began doing baby showers for family and friends and ran across the same problem. The rest is history she solved her problem by doing it herself and this is where we find her today.

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 I instinctively knew that I was not just selling decorations or party supplies, but hopes, dreams, and memories that would stay with these families for a lifetime.

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Maninder makes a range of party decor pieces. We have featured just a few of them. She also loves custom orders to make sure your wildest dreams come to life. So if you have a birthday party coming up, baby shower or need super cute decor stop by and visit her store.  Or even if you want to be inspired by her beautiful creations I am sure she would love to hear from you! Have an awesome day!

il_570xN.822475700_sv9iO IS FOR OWSUM!!!!!! lol


GraduateX Learning – Lifelong Education

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Education is an ongoing ongoing thing!!! It never ceases to amaze me how much one can learn and NOT learn if they so choose. Many do say ignorance is bliss and it’s true until you learn it and wish you had known it awhile ago. There are also some things in life that we do learn but still don’t do much about.. e.g we learn to eat healthy and exercise regularly but how many of us do it? So today this is a post dedicated to an online learning programme called GraduateX Learning.

Here at GraduateX learning they love to teach – especially skills that make make the best of your time, career and life. They also have many courses ranging from how immigration courses to preparing you for big college exams. Many a time before the real thing we may just need a run down to boost our confidence levels for the real thing. I know for me as I moved here from New Zealand this would have been helpful to have taken a course like this so I knew what I had to do with all the immigration stuff. It would have saved me so much hassle, confusion time and nerves!!

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Head over to GraduateX Learning and see what they have to offer. It may be just want you need for a change in direction? Remember learning never stops once you graduate high school or college. The fountain of knowledge is never ending. So always seize every opportunity you have for increasing your understanding of yourself and the world around us. It can only make this world a more better place right?.lzcoYXpRQGVmP05VLI2A

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Signing the Tongan Alphabet

Miss A and I are attempting to learn sign language together. I haven’t been around much of the deaf community but I do admire those who work with them and take the time to learn to communicate with them. I decided I wanted to teach my baby sign language as a means of communication with the family before she can actually talk. At the moment she doesn’t seem to be picking up anything other than the “milk” sign but I think it’s probably our teaching methods that are not too consistent. I decided to do this video of the Tongan Alphabet in the American Sign Language seeing we are here but I would love for somebody to upload videos in other sign languages because I know it’s different in various countries. This is just a fun way I feel for my baby to get familiar with learning Tongan.

Please write some feedback am I obviously not trained in this language and could be doing it all wrong. So feel free to let me know. :)

This is the tongan alphabet

 A E F H I K L M NG O P S T U V

p.s Miss A just had lunch hence her burping in the middle of the song lol oh and my “a” sign is wrong thumbs in the wrong place …opps


BSTREETSHOES.COM – Custom Design Shoes

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I love hearing stories of Creative Entrepreneurs getting out there and turning their passions into a reality. This is just the case with this company BSTREETSHOES.COM started by Blake Barash. Leaving your safety of full time employment is never easy, so when stories of entrepreneurs arise I see courage, dedication and perseverance.

Previously Blake had been working in the banking and finance industry but with the instability of the economy there was always uncertainty whether he would keep his job. Somehow in a struggling job market Blake managed to turn a weakness in the economy into a opportunity for him. With creative skills in graffiti art, ceramic making, painting and woodworking he had been developing Blake stumbled across an ad on craigslist by Toms. They were looking for an artist to paint custom designs on their canvas shoes. Recognizing this opportunity he seized it and since then has built a substantial portfolio of custom shoes.

BSTREETSHOES has hand-painted, completely custom Nike, Toms, Converse and Vans footwear for adults and children. Here are a few my favourite designs below… (hint hint to those who are feeling like santa)

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If you love being unique and rocking your own style you should definitely check them out. No two pairs in the world are the same. Whether you live in the Australia or USA, if you’re wearing B Street Shoes, you’re a unique individual expressing your love for custom fashion. Also if you want to see the fun things they get up to on a daily basis hit them up on instagram.  Go out there and be amazing!!!!

What are your passions you are wanting to pursue??? Comment below would love to hear from you all!!!

 



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