Nobody is Exempt
Yes we all go through it, there are always going to be trials and hardship that we come across in our lifetime. It’s the reality of being human. To be honest I have never come anybody EVER that has not come across the bitter pill of adversity whether it was a loss of a loved one, depression, loneliness, or financial burdens etc… But just because we all go through it to some degree or another it doesn’t mean we should sweep it under the rug and try not to understand why we go through them.
A Continuous Transformation Process
Adversity is part of a continuous cycle we face being humans. This process is made up of 3 main steps, firstly experiencing and recognizing the hardship, weaknesses and flaws within us, second the transformation and change journey and lastly enjoying growth and reflection. Don’t worry it’s not over yet this cycle repeats itself over and over again many times throughout our life and as we continue to recognize more things we need to work on. From every hardship we go through we learn and can become a better person from that experience. (Also check out Grit Growth and Gratification blog post for an in-depth explanation of this transformation process.)
Take over the Reigns
There are some things that are just out of our control but we will only hurt ourselves if we worry about that which is out of our control. What we can work on and focus on is that which we do have control of which is ourselves our mindset and how we handle the adversity. We can choose to crawl up into a little ball and hope it will pass by or we can take it a day or a minute at a time. Here are some ways to have a positive outlook during this whole process.
Gratitude: One way to help you through adversity is to look at what there is good going on. Notice the small changes and celebrate the small progress.
Think Big: Look at the bigger picture. Look at where you are going how far you come sometimes just looking at today isn’t enough to show how much you have grown and developed.
Service: Helping somebody else in worse off situation helps you realize that there are other people suffering more than you
Support System: Lock in a good support group to be your cheer leaders along the way. We all need family or friends who will help us on this journey especially when you are feeling like you just want to give in.
Best Wishes my lovelies! Go rock the world!
We all have them.. that negative inner voice that says
You aren’t smart enough
You aren’t brave enough
You aren’t pretty enough
You aren’t social enough
YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH
LIMITING BELIEFS are also disguised as
- Negative Thoughts
- Beliefs conditioned from culture or family
- Thought Patterns
- Perfectionistic Thinking
- Past failures
You are enough! And you can overcome these belief systems that hinder you from your true and ultimate potential. Look back in your life there are bound to be numerous examples when you decided that these belief systems were not going to rule your life. For me it was going to university and graduating from university.At one point I questioned if I was really smart enough and committed to go there and graduate. In relationships I would think am I am I doing enough to be loved? Do I even deserve to be loved?
These limiting beliefs have come from everywhere and anywhere, we have picked them up throughout our childhood and held on to them to define us. For me during my late teens it was such a simple sentence that this ignorant boy used “YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE THIS SUPERMODEL ON THE FRONT COVER OF THIS MAGAZINE” Even today this still haunts me as I have translated it to mean, I can’t accomplish anything great unless I look like her. Or sometimes I think okay once I lose weight I will definitly get the dream job or the success that I am looking for. Which it totally BULL!!!!! Our self limiting beliefs may have come from our environment, family, friends or even the media. As time goes on these beliefs get stronger and stronger and get proven time and time again because we live them and turn them into reality.
Can you imagine your life if you had no limiting beliefs, where your mind is an open and blank canvas. What would you do differently? Where would you be? Who would you become? Here are some steps and ideas to help you overcome your limiting belief systems.
- Think of a Dream, Goal you have but have failed to achieve
- What is your biggest excuse or reason for failure?
- Dig Deep and ask why do you use that excuse?
- What has made you accept that as your excuse?
- How is this belief or excuse helping me?
- What are things I can accomplish if I didn’t have this belief?
- What are the consequences if I stay with this belief?
- How would I feel if I overcame this belief?
- How would my life be different if I overcame this belief?
- Why should I change now?
- Am I committed to this new future?
These are questions to ask yourself as your evaluate whatever you limiting belief is. Whatever is holding you back is always just in your head. You do have the power to change your thought process and define your own future. If you have any further questions on this I would love to hear from you. Feel free to message me or comment below!!!
As part of my 5 Values this year one of them being edifying my mind I am endeavouring to read a book a month and so here is my Book Review for January! This book was awesome in terms of helping me recognize things that I needed to work on in terms of working with people and communicating and understanding people.
There are so many things that I know I need to work on but here are the two main ideas that I know I really got from this book. The first idea is based on these two quotes.
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
“God himself sir, does not propose to judge people until end of their days so why should you and I”
I love this idea as it’s an awesome reminder those who don’t know how to control their tongue in the end is the biggest fool. It takes little to no self control to just blurt out criticism, complain and judge people but it really takes character to be able to try and understand other people and their prospective.
“A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still”
This is also another awesome idea that I am struggling with. Telling somebody they are wrong isn’t always the best way to help them believe in your prospective so learning how to express your views tactfully and helping them convince themselves of your idea is ultimately the best way. This means a lot of patience and perseverance and understanding.
Have you read this book yet? What were your favourite ideas? Would love to hear!!!!!
Keep being amazing, Keep learning, growing and becoming the best YOU!!!
Our world is filled with so much negativity. It’s everywhere and can be suffocating if we let it, illness, depression, heavy work load, strained relationships or even world news. But with every problem we can always try and tackle it with some good old positivity, yeah I know it won’t make the problems go away but it may be able to help you bear the challenges are little better! Today I just wanted to share some tips on ways I try to squeeze in some bits of positivity throughout my day.
1. Start Right
Starting your day off to the right foot can make a massive difference in your day. First things first. Start the day with the things most important to you whether it’s through prayer, scripture reading or meditating or exercise incorporate this into your morning ritual. You will notice your day goes much smoother and feels satisfying. If you need to get upan hour b before the whole house wakes up do it!
2. Clear Clutter
Cleaning at least one area in the house will help you feel good about yourself. I know when you have kids sometimes it’s too easy to have a messy house. For me to keep myself sane I just clean one area and ban everybody from going there whether it’s my bedroom or a living room area. Having just a clean area can help you invite positive vibes into your environment.
3. Listen to Positive
Throughout the day if I am cleaning, organizing or eating I like to listen to motivational or uplifting podcasts. Generally I like to listen to these sometimes instead of music. Listening to these podcasts help with mood and also help educate me in so many ways. Podcasts are easier as I don’t have to sit in front of a screen, usually I do it when I am doing mundane tasks around the house or even better when I am driving long distances. Here is a list of self-improvement podcasts you should check out. My favorite is Christine Hassler she has been a help for me in getting clear with setting purpose and goals.
4. Act of Kindness
Do something nice for somebody else. When you help somebody it will ALWAYS I can guarantee, it will make you feel good and uplift you to a state of greater happiness. It is a WIN-WIN situation and it’s contagious. Doing a conscious act of kindness will give you the boost especially when you are feeling down and out!!!
What are ways that you maintain positivity in your life? Would love to hear your thoughts!!! Comment and Share if you found this useful!
This post was sponsored by www.allthingspodcast.com. Check them out for all things you need to know about podcasts.
It is not happy people who a grateful it is grateful people who are happy!
Gratitude is a medicinal emotion, it lifts us up elevates our mood and fills us with real joy
Researchers are finding that those who exhibit and express the most gratitude are happier, healthier, and more energetic. Grateful people report fewer symptoms such as headaches, stomach-ache, nausea, even acne, and spend more time exercising! And the more a person is inclined towards gratitude, the less lonely, stressed, anxious and depressed he or she will be.
Gratitude helps us live a happier and enjoyable life. Being grateful for all that you have helps you feel abundant and to recognize what you have is enough.
Gratitude gets rid of comparing yourself to others, especially with lots of people on social media posting all their edited photos. Gratitude helps us be grateful for what we have and embrace what we have and not worry about what those around us have.
The other day we came from a little vacation and our heating system was down, our house was freezing cold. I was grumpy and tired but as I lay in bed I thought of how I grew up in a home with no heating system and we just had to bundle up warm. I was grateful that we had a heating system in this house and so that night I just bundled up warmer and slept like I did back in the days.Counting our Blessings name then one by one
How to be more grateful
- Gratitude Journal
- Express gratitude to others – Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone. ~G.B. Stern
- Write thank you notes to somebody
- Meditate or Pray
How do you show gratitude? How has gratitude helped you in your life? Let me know in the comments below!!! Be amazing and show gratitude today!!!!!
Lots of love
We are all immigrants, have been or will be…
One phrase that can get me fired up pretty quickly is when an ignorant person says “Immigrants need to go back to their country!” directly or indirectly. Whether it’s towards immigrants, different ethnicities, foreigners or refugees that somehow seem to be taking advantage of the country welfare system or taking “their” jobs. Although I see this as prospective of Lack rather than abundance, I am not here to justify the actions of all immigrants today. I am just speaking from my own personal experience as an immigrant and an observer. Today I wish to reflect on history and highlight the values that we have learnt from our immigrant ancestors and the need for all of us to apply them into our lives today.
Reflect on your Past
I guess what irks me the most is those bashing immigrants don’t take the time to realize that if they looked a couple of generations back they will see that their own ancestors were hardworking immigrants also, and they wouldn’t be where they are without those immigrants. We all have to start somewhere and generally speaking immigrants have to start from complete scratch as they have left “everything” behind and even their knowledge and understanding may still be a couple of generations behind! (Or sometimes way ahead) We can even take it a step further to the natives of the land, that they too were immigrants at one point in history, and made themselves at home with little to no conflict from the current inhabitants or animals of the land.
Please remind me I’m an Immigrant
All immigrants and foreigners need a little reminder too. It is easy to forget the hard work of the past when we don’t have to toil the land and where everything can be handed out easier. Although labels are not fun but I will turn this into a good one. Let the word immigrant or FOB be a word that reminds you that you are being labelled in the same category as many diligent immigrants before you, who have overcome barriers, challenges and stereotypes to rise above and beyond. Such immigrants have founded such companies as “proctor and gamble”, “at&t,” “google” and so many more. To me the Immigrant title represents
- hard work
- risk takers
- leaders and pioneers
and so much more that we need to learn and live by!
Modern day Immigrants
Today immigrants don’t look the same. I guess the reason why I am very passionate about this subject is that I grew up in hard-working immigrant home. (So of course I have a slight bias.) My parents were immigrants to New Zealand in the late eighties seeking for a “better life.” Although they are citizens and have lived there for nearly 30 years, they still come across many challenges. They came to New Zealand to further their education, but because of difficult family financial circumstances had to join the workforce instead. There were many struggles for both of them to leave their homes, close family and friends behind and adopt to a strange new lifestyle, and finding work. They also had to learn a new language and therefore were referred to as (FOBS.) . Somehow they managed to raise kids in a bilingual home and culture, which was also very difficult for a child and teenager to balance two very different worlds. Fast forward 25 years they have had 2 of their 3 children graduate from college, the last one approaching graduation; they have legally adopted and are raising 2 more children, they have lived in their own home for over 20 years, the dad has gone back and completed tertiary education and they both are contributing to their church and community. They provided their children with opportunities that they never got, to learn piano, vocal, violin, cello, guitar, participate in tennis, netball, rugby cricket drama classes and so much more. My parents are only one of the MANY immigrants that have seized the many opportunities that this country has to offer. (And no they are not “fie palangi”)
What I am trying to say is that we all are immigrants in some point in our life, whether we are new to a school, to a job, a new community or even country. Let’s be kind and respectful to each other as we are all in this journey together. Whether we are new to a place or have lived there since the beginning of time; Let’s be adventurous, take risks, be industrious, creative and apply the Immigrant mentality by to our life taking life by the horns and making the most of every opportunity.
Lots of Love
How do you feel about being called an immigrant? How have you turned around negative situations into positive ones? Would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.
Self Confidence is a skill that requires you to have a belief in oneself. I would also like to add to this definition to me it’s also believing and trusting in a higher power for me it’s God. Self Confidence is a journey that can take us in and out of our comfort zone. Self-confidence is also knowledge and understanding that you don’t know everything, we can admit to making mistakes but are willing to learn and move forward.
Self Confidence is much like a muscle that you need to keep on working at otherwise you can slowly lose it.
WHY develop Confidence?
- Self Confidence can enhance your reputation (jobs, colleagues, friends)
- Attract positive people around you
- Open up many doors of opportunity
- Confident people bring out confidence in others
HOW to develop Confidence?
- Repetition:More you do something that more confident you get at it. Like a sport, or an instrument the more you practice the more confident you are to perform.
- Positive Talk: We all have our own personal insecurities. But focus on the negative will not help us in any way. Turn those negatives into positives. Make affirmations for yourself so you can always refer to when you are tempted to say something negative.
- Body Language
- Set Goals:seeing the bigger picture helps you know where you are going and gives you purpose therefore you feel confident about yourself.
- Positive Reflection: Reflect on the things you have accomplished this will also help you as you tackle new tasks. Reminding yourself that you have already done difficult things can help give you the boost of confidence to face the new challenges ahead.
No one will believe in you unless you do! You are unique and amazing! Be your best most amazing self because there is nobody in the world that can do you like you!
What are some things you do to help boost your confidence? Please I would love to know what you think. Comment and Share if you felt that this helped you!!
Keep spreading your light!! Because the world needs you!
Aroha 1st year has been an eventful year, from reaching most baby milestones. I don’t like to post much on social media but I think this will be lovely to look back on when baby is 21 years old. (if the internet is still around) On her birthday I wrote this letter or her, a little piece of wisdom from her momma!.
I was induced on the night on the 6th of January and my water broke at around lunchtime on the 7th of January. Aroha was officially born at 10.21pm weighing in at 6.11 lbs?? This photo was taken a few hours Aroha was born with still a fair bit of swelling (from both of us) lol. She was born with a bilateral cleft lip, that occurs in 1 out of every 700 babies. This was a complete shock to both of us. We also had some difficulty trying to decide on a name for her so as we walked out of the hospital we decided on Aroha Marlee Mou’i he Tui White. (I know it’s a mouthful, blame the tongan in me.)
Aroha at 1 months (Feb) was blessed by dad. It was a beautiful blessing as all my family were able to be there. We also were finally moved into our new home, and were able to get all the painting and recarpeting done. She hated doing tummy time but it had to be done. First time she followed me with her eyes.
At 2 months: (March) She hated going on drives in the car and would scream all the way to and from any place. One time she cried for 45mins straight driving from salt lake to ogden. Aroha loved it when mummy would sing to her and play music on the keyboard for her. And she loved swinging on grandmas swing, that would be the only way to get her to sleep. She also got a fun visit from aunty ofa!
At 3months old: (April) Aroha had her cleft-lip surgery, which I shared previously on another blog post. The surgery took about 2hours and she had to get tubes in her nose for a month. She loves looking at herself in the mirror.
At 4 months: (May) Aroha looked a lot different. We had to get use to her new smile as it was a lot different. She also didn’t like the tubes in her nose as it made it super difficult to breath. Aroha moved into her own room and we also began her sleep training at this age which wasn’t a fun process, but really made our life easier especially which my husband working and studying full-time.
At 5 months: (June) Aroha went to her first temple open house. We went to the open house in Payson and we got to go in and look around in this beautiful building dedicated to the Lord. Aroha also got her first shots which was a lot harder for mummy. She took them like a champ!
At 6 months: (July) I started her straight on finger foods through baby led weaning. With no teeth she managed to eat mangos, avocados, peaches, and even started eating toast. We went on her first camping trip, which she loved, and later went on some family trips to Bear Lake. Through the summer we did lots of fun family outings.
At 7 months: (August) Aroha decided she was going to start doing planks and slowly figured out how to crawl. It took her a little while to figure out how to crawl, but she did it and nobody could stop her! We also had lots of fun in the sun and went to summer parades.
At 8 months: (September) Aroha got to go to my very first football game in a All Blacks outfit. And we also went on lots of family hikes and picnics, because the weather was perfect. Aroha just loves being outside like every other kid.
At 9 months: (October) We had a family picnic outside the temple and listened to a conference session. We started a halloween traditions to pick pumpkins as a family. Aroha dressed up as a little strawberry for halloween and stayed and helped give out candy at Grandma’s house. Aroha also learnt how to walk even though we did nothing to help her.
At 10months (November) We had our very first thanksgiving as a family in Vegas. Aroha survived a 7 hour car drive there.
At 11 months (December) We went to New Zealand and had a blast with 2 weddings and 3 birthday parties. Aroha got to develop her savage Tongan side. She also grew fond of dogs and birds. She picked up more signing while in New Zealand than all the other months. Aroha also got to be in several places, Las Vegas, Arizona, Hawaii, San Francisco, Auckland, Utah all in one month.
At 12 months (January) Aroha is finally a year old with intuitive little personality that we all adore!! She signs over 10 words which is way more than we knew how. Aroha loves climbing up and down stairs. Her favourite tv show is “Baby Signing Time” (and only show she watches) She has no teeth yet. She eats everything you put on her plate. She has been sleeping right through the night since forever ago. We had such a fun birthday party when we were in New Zealand. Hope you enjoy the pictures!
(I read this letter to her on her birthday, in hopes that she may stumble across this one day. Here is a summary of her first year milestones and photos.)
Today Aroha you turn a year old and while you wobble and discover the wonders around you with your new sense of mobility I read to you this little letter. To the eye you may seem distracted and uninterested, as I read this, but I hope your heart will capture a glimpse of the joy, love and yearning that my spirit has for your sweet soul.
You are only but a year old still untainted by the world’s filth and deception. Although physically you have experimented with many natural elements that this world offers from mud, rocks to sand and soil. Aroha, this earth is filled with lots of opportunity to grow and experience many wonderful things, such as the time you took your first step and tasted your first sweet mango. But as you have already experienced life can also bring heartache and sorrow like the time when you fell down stairs, grazed your knee or when mummy had to sleep train you.
My sweet girl you have grown too much and too fast in this year we have been together. But I marvel and wonder with each milestone you reach, how Heavenly Father has enlarged my heart. How did he make my heart big enough to love and care for another human. Sometimes I marvel at myself that I have managed to keep you alive for this long!
This one year that we have been together feels like I have known you for eternity. Although holding you when you were born I didn’t experience what most mothers did; instead I felt anxious and nervous holding a little stranger in my arms that depended completely on me….. It’s truly amazing what constant care for another human does to oneself. Not having a good nights sleep for the first few months, constantly changing your diaper explosions, making you food and caring for you every minute of the day has made my love grow more and more each day. I really do love you more today than I did the day when you were born. When once we were strangers but now we couldn’t do without.
Dear Aroha I want you to know that we can only take it a step at a time. I’m learning how to be a mom and you are learning how to be my daughter. So there will be a mix of tears and laughter and we figure this thing out. Sweetie there are many memories that I will forever treasure, the time when you first followed me with your eyes, I realized that you also cared for me to; Or the time when your surgery was over and all I wanted was to hold you and hug you but all you wanted was my milk.
This first year I want to give you a piece of advice from your (still very inexperienced) mother, that you may one day want to come back to for a few laughs. In this first year of being with you I have learnt is to serve. Service to others no matter who they are will make you love them. You can’t serve somebody and not find an ounce of love for them. If ever you find somebody difficult to love serve them, serve them without a thought of reward, and your hard feelings will start to simmer away. Aroha I love you so much and although I know you will break my heart and drive me crazy in the years to come but I will still love you because I will continually be serving you as a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on and whatever you need me to be.
And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. – Mosiah 2.17
Lots of love your mum xo
But wait there’s more… I am super excited to collaborate with these awesome mommas!!! They both have girls as well and share their insights at the different stages they are both at!! I love that we can connect and share insights from each others experiences and learn to grow and be better mothers and wives. So go check them both out!!!
Janet Anderson who is the lovely writer for MotivateMeMOMMY. She has 2 wonderful daughters and has written this posts on “Raising our Daughters”
Hope you enjoyed this little letter from my heart. Did you enjoy this let me know! If you had daughters what piece of advice would you want them to know?
We would love to hear from you! Be amazing!!!
As you know for those who have been following my youtube channel I just did a post about values that I wish to live by this year. One of those is that of simplifying. To start off this whole simplify theme in my life I have decided that I want to start off with my wardrobe. As you can see by this picture it is a huge ugly mess of clothing everywhere. By minimizing my clothing, the hopes is I will also be better organized.
After getting everything thrown in the pile, I organized the dresses, shirts, pants and skirts etc into their own individual piles. After getting them in the piles I just picked the items that made me happy and I knew for certain I was going to wear. If I wasn’t 100% sure I put it into a different pile. So I had piles for YES, Maybe and NO. I then went through the Maybe pile and kept what I wanted and discarded the rest. PRESTO!!!
At the beginning I was pretty gung ho and thought I could do a 10 item wardrobe but then realized it was still a little too soon for me to do 10 items so I have done about a 15 -17 item wardrobe. (depends on what you call outfits) I had also managed to get rid of about 7 pairs of shoes. Hopefully I get to that point where I can get it down to only 10 outfits.
Why Minimize your Wardrobe?
- More time to do productive things
- Organizing your wardrobe is now a breeze
- Have more money in the bank
- Less clutter in your wardrobe = Less mess (especially for me)
- Packing for trips is easier
- Sense of clarity and clearness in your bedroom!!!
Just going through my clothing and purging them was very therapeutic and liberating. I am now excited to open my wardrobe and not feel overwhelmed from the mess and disorder. I am also excited to apply this idea into the other areas of my life, kitchen, bathroom, linen, decor etc.
Advice for those wanting to start:
- define your style (Vintage, Hipster, Boho, Retro etc) This was the hardest part for me.
- read about other minimalists and how they do it (we all have our own ways)
- decide how much you can manage and go for it!!!
- read 12 steps to minimizing your wardrobe or lots of fun youtube videos on it