“Same Team Remember…”

How often do you see couples mock each other to a point where it gets really awkward. One of them would get offended or embarrassed then they would bring up something of the partner, it would then turn into a putting down session where each are digging out stories from the past.  That couple use to be my husband and I embarrassingly enough.

Not trying to justify my behaviour but my culture is a complete mocking culture. You mock until that person cries. Mocking is jokingly referred to as another way of expressing love. I’m positive that mocking is the 6th love language. But in all seriousness this is a very destructive behavior that can diminish our self-esteem and confidence. It may seem like fun and jokes for a while but repeated long enough can have negative effects on your relationship. If you need to tell jokes find something else not your spouse!

As of lately we have recognized how quickly we can spiral down when we start mocking each other especially in front of friends and family. Isn’t it crazy that we are putting down the person we love the most. Isn’t this the one person we should be showing most love and respect yet also the easiest to put down? What my husband and I have begun to do is that when one of us are going down the track of mocking, the other spouse as kindly as possible lovingly says “same team remember…” instead of starting with another story to combat. Saying “same team remember…” is telling your spouse in the kindest way that what they are sharing is either, embarrassing, offensive or mean to you whether they agree or not means they need to stop sharing that story or mocking. Applying this simple phrase has helped us so much avoid arguments, and feelings of anger and bitterness.

Do you and your spouse constantly put each other down? Do you want to improve your communication? Post your questions or thoughts down below or email me at info@ourhappytalk.com or schedule a free introductory coaching session with me.

 


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