Tag: blogging


Self Awareness in Relationships

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” -Gandhi

You may wondering what is all this self awareness stuff got to do with relationships and marriage.Being self-aware in marriage or any relationship is an amazing skill that will allow you to communicate effectively and truly understand your environment and be able to take control of your own emotions.  I guess for me my understanding is that if you don’t know yourself how are you able to get to know and love anybody else. Love comes from within, we need to give love to receive love and therefore being aware of who we are can help us develop love for ourselves. (Wow that’s some deep stuff right there haha) But for real though. All healthy relationships come from a deep understanding of self.

Self-awareness (sometimes also referred to as self-knowledge or introspection) is about understanding your own needs, desires, failings, habits, and everything else that makes you tick. The more you know about yourself, the better you are at adapting life changes that suit your needs.

We are literally like a onion we have sooo many layers to us to uncover and understand. I seriously find that the more I go on in life and continue to self reflect the more I connect the dots to why I do and think the way I do.

Self-awareness includes:

  • Understanding our emotions—what we’re feeling and what triggered it—so we can effectively work through and transform our emotional responses (instead of using them to justify unhealthy choices)
  • Recognizing our destructive thought patterns so we can redirect them
  • Tuning into what’s going on in our bodies so we can learn from it and access our intuition
  • Noticing our behavioral patterns and habits so that we can make adjustments to change negative ones
  • Understanding our beliefs, assumptions, and expectations, and how they influence what we choose to do
  • Accepting that we are responsible for our actions—even if we developed certain patterns in response to events from our past

Here are some activities that you can practice and implement into your life to help be self reflect.

  1. List You: What are your beliefs? What do you stand for? What are your likes and dislikes? What are fears?  What are your goals? What do you believe your relationships should look like? What qualities do you have to contribute to your relationship?
  2. Question your thoughts or beliefs. Look at what you have written about yourself and now its time think objectively. For example ask yourself why do I prefer to demand that my partner come straight home after work? Why do I want him always with me? Why do I get mad when he wants to spend time with his friends? Ask yourself these questions whenever those times come up when you are frustrated at something your partner does. If you can’t in the moment then do it when you have calmed down. Is your belief legit or where does it stem from. You can dig deeper and deeper and find the root cause of your beliefs. It may be helpful to do this with a trusted friend, coach or therapist to guide you in the right direction.
  3. Keep a Journal: Not just what you ate for breakfast but include feelings and anything that will help you understand and reflect on yourself more. Like including what you ate for breakfast or why you didn’t how you were feeling in the moment can help when you go back to read and reflect. Writing a journal helps you identify patterns a lot more easier. So being consistency is key for this exercise. Journals are most effective if done over a long period of time from 6months-12months will give you some good insight on yourself.
  4. Evaluate: Now you have seen some of your qualities and recorded your behaviour in your journal.  Set some goals on what you want to work on to improve your marriage or relationships. You can always keep on track coming back to your goals on a weekly basis to see how you are changing your behaviour. Some people need this written down others can just work on one at a time so it’s easier to keep track of. Remember you will not change overnight so keep working on it. Make your goals easy to monitor so you don’t feel too overwhelmed and give up.

 

 


11 Ways to Improve Intimacy in Marriage

DISCLAIMER: If posts like this make you blush feel free to skip this post and check out all our other posts to help strengthen your marriage and family. For those wanting to learn how to increase intimacy in marriage read on!


Intimacy is beautiful when able to be expressed in the bonds of matrimony. But like all beautiful things it does take effort, work, understanding and love.

At the beginning of any relationship it is completely normal for intimacy to be on a high. But just like all things in life the fun begins to wear off therefore we need to put more effort and work into it. We get comfortable and sometimes end up putting intimacy on the back-seat. We all need to realise that intimacy is a vital part of marriage where at the beginning it was more a physical thing but as you grow together intimacy becomes more about connecting and showing deeper emotional love for one another. You do have to bear in mind different phases of life that your spouse is going through, whether it is pregnancy, nursing, stress at work, or illness and be understanding and accommodate to these different circumstances! All couples go through cycles of highs and lows and sometimes lows last longer than we want. Today I have compiled some ideas to help you increase you sexual desire.

Pray Together

Never underestimate the power of prayer! Praying together with your spouse over improving your sex life is just as important as praying for school, work, family and whatever else there is.

Say No!

Ladies we take too much on! If what you are doing is taking putting too much stress on you and your family that by the end of the day you don’t want to do anything with your spouse you may just need to prioritise! Say no to things that will take your attention from the things that matter most! And don’t put your sex life at the bottom of the list!

De-stress

Too much stress increases the stress hormone cortisol, which causes testosterone to plummet. Find a way to tune out for 15 minutes a day, whether through meditation, yoga, chilling to music, or chilling with a friend.

Clear the Clutter

Clearing the mess in your bedroom will help you for sure get in the mood. You are not stumbling over kids toys or things all over the floor to romance your spouse. Having your room in order will allow you to focus on your spouse and not worrying about the load of laundry you are needing to do or any other things on your to do list in the upcoming days! Let’s hide the overwhelm for at least while you are in the bedroom!

Experiment

I can’t stress this one enough, experiment and try something new on a regular basis. Try new positions, new locations, music or anything to spice up your intimacy level. Experimenting allows you to feel more excited about getting into it and about what else you can do.

Fantasize

This can be difficult at the beginning and requires a lot of trust between the couple. But once you can express those desires to each other in a safe and loving environment it can boost your sexual desire big time! Remember that you need to respectful of each other’s boundaries and comfort levels. It is also vital to know fantasies are kept between both of you and inviting no one else into the fantasies is a big NO NO!

Exercise

Aerobic workouts (running, biking, swimming) not only improve blood flow to sex organs but can also boost your mood, pumping up “feel good” brain chemicals called endorphins. An increase in testosterone levels about one hour after working out can also leave you feeling sexier. Do avoid overstraining yourself, though, since extreme exercise actually lowers testosterone levels.

Abstain

Dr. Beiter says he encourages couples to “move away from a performance-based sexuality, where sex is typically defined as intercourse and mandatory orgasms.” Instead, he suggests taking up “pleasure-based sexuality, where the focus is on pleasure, fun and intimacy.” This allows you both to get excited and have some time to work up to the actual thing.

Date Nights

Plan a date night, of course! In fact, go ahead and e-mail this article to your spouse right now, asking him to make reservations at your favorite restaurant tonight. But really you need some alone time so find a babysitter and schedule this time out. Make it a regular occurrence at least 3 times a month minimum.

Health

If you feel there is a health issue that is preventing you from enjoying your sex life then visit a doctor. Also keep in mind that birth control pills and nursing also affects your desire for sex. Your doctor may be able to prescribe certain medication to help you solve issues you didn’t realize were there.

Timing and Schedule

If it really is difficult to get in the mood schedule it in!!! Schedule it during the time of day when you have a little more energy than usual. Leaving it right to the end of the day means that you will for sure be exhausted and you will for sure have the least desire. If at all possible to do a quickie in the morning or midday if you only have a limited amount of time.

New Hobbies

Recent research shows that partaking in new and challenging experiences with your partner can boost the brain chemical dopamine, which helps fuel sex drive. These don’t even need to be in the bedroom. Enter a race together, on a tandem bike. Get a little lost on a wilderness hike—without a map. Host a game night with friends where each couple kicks in $30 and the winning pair takes all.

For additional resources, consider reading any of the following books:

  1. The Sex Starved Wife: by Michele Weiner Davis
  2. Why Men Stop Having Sex: by Bob Berkowitz
  3. And We Were Not Ashamed: by Laura Brotherson

More couples than you realize consist of partners with varying sex drives. With open communication and the setting of attainable goals and expectations, you and your spouse CAN find happy medium in the bedroom!

If you would love more info or have questions on this topic I would love to talk to you! Feel free to message me at info@ourhappytalk.com to schedule a free mini coaching call!!!

xo best wishes


Do you know your Purpose and Vision?

napoleonhillquote

 

I love the verse in the Book of Mormon

We are agents unto ourselves. We are here to act and not be acted upon.

Heavenly Father has given us a purpose in this life to be a part of His work and build his Kingdom here on earth. But we all have our own parts to play in this great work. Do you know where you fit in? Do you know what part you play into His amazing plan? Have you taken the time to ask Him these questions? Have you taken the time to listen to what He is communicating to you?

Once you come to the realization of what your purpose and role is, your vision starts to unfold naturally. Creating a vision of our entire life enables us to develop motivation, drive and purpose in the everyday things we do. When you create your vision you are consciously choosing to act for yourself and not to just flow to and fro with whatever comes your way. If you don’t create your vision the reality is you will be allowing other people and circumstances to direct your life. Whether you are creating a vision for your family or business the same principals apply.

Life is too short to be doing nothing or just going with the flo. Start today on living each day with purpose!

Questions to consider

Creating your vision doesn’t just happen instantly. For me it was here a little there a little until all the little pieces started to make sense. Even today I feel that I get more pieces as I have accomplished what I have received. I personally feel that God gives us enough to work on and then will give more once we have done that. To get started on your purpose and vision here are some questions to consider…

  • What are my 5 most important values that I hold dear?
  • What legacy do you want to leave behind?
  • If you did not have any fear of people or failure what would you do?
  • What would you do if you didn’t get paid?
  • What are your natural talents?
  • What experiences do you get the most joy from?
  • Describe or draw your ideal life? 5,  10 20 years from now

Get Clear

I love visualizing my vision and each day manifesting it so that it comes true and I live it each day.  My vision helps me align my actions every day so that I am living with purpose. When you create your vision, seek for clarity. Getting clear on what you want helps you achieve those lofty visions. Just saying “I want to be an entrepreneur” can only get you so far, it may just help you start thinking about different business ideas. But saying I am an creative entrepreneur promoting other creatives such as artists, musicians  dancers to get more exposure. This vision clearly defines where you are heading. You will achieve better results with a clear vision. It is better to put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to your vision otherwise holding too many baskets with eggs will result in scrambled eggs.

Continuously go back to the source of all knowledge to help guide you through your journey of finding your purpose. He will direct and guide you so you know what it is you need to do to help you live a purpose driven life.

Here is an example.

Purpose: To serve and inspire

Mission: To create, share and provide tools for women who want to live a fulfilling and purpose driven life.

Vision: A world where women who live by faith, know their purpose are serving and are living life purposefully.

 


Want to start a blog?

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Blogging is such an awesome way to get your thoughts out there. Whether people read your stuff or not, just writing is so therapeutic and gives your own way to express yourself. While some people like to sing, play music, paint, read a book, I enjoy writing, talking and sharing my thoughts with people. My head is full of way too many thoughts I need to just get it out on paper so my head doesn’t burst, therefore blogging provides a perfect medium. Seeing my husband is usually busy with work and school blogging is what I have turned to.

Lots of people before me have done the same, and turned to blogging as a form of helping them express and be themselves. We all need to start somewhere, and the beginning is the perfect place. Whether you are still contemplating on doing a blog in your mind or fear is holding you back just get over it. I would just recommend you to get started!!! You can write a few posts and not share it with anyone. It can be just for you for however long until you have the courage to share it with one person then more and more as you gain more confidence.

blogging

  1. Overcome fear of people– Why are we letting other people determine our lives? Why are we allowing them to determine our destiny? We need to take control and responsibility for ourselves.
  2. Start Writing– Write for yourself. Be real, be true be you! Whether you use WordPress or blogger or any other format just get writing.
  3. Share your stuff– Share with your friends? Share it with those you care about? Then share it with whomever you desire… There is someone out there that is bound to be grateful for what you have shared. Sharing is caring right!!!
  4. Monetize – Eventually if you stick through with it, you can eventually get paid. There are so many ways to make extra money with blogging some bloggers make up to 6 figures. Megan from caffinatedmomspeakshas written some great ways to make money while blogging. Check her blog out, she is an awesome example of overcoming trials in her life to get where she is.

So what stage are you at? Where do you want to get to? Let us know some of your thoughts and ideas on blogging and blogs. Comment or share if you found this useful!

 


Guest Blogging Opportunity!

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I love talking about achieving dreams and chasing after your dream whatever it may be. I also enjoy being a dreamer myself but more importantly acting on my dreams!!!  Often I’ve been called a fool for going after what seemed like impossible and crazy dreams but in the end have come out on top! That’s why I love saying dream chasers not just dreamers!!! In previous posts I have mentioned before that starting this blog was just a dream at one point but slowly and surely, it has become a reality thanks to you all out there reading and supporting me in this!! So thanks guys!!!!

Today thecoolgirlsguide.com wants to extend an opportunity out there for those who are interested in being a guest writer for their website. They are looking for women who want to write to help inspire other women achieve their dreams. If you feel you have some valuable information or experience to share, this may be an opportunity just for you. Or if you are wanting to get your name out there this could be a stepping stone for bigger things!!!

thecoolgirlsguide.com is targeted toward women who want to become successful in whatever aspect of life they are in. Whether you are a leader, entrepreneur, writer, geek, or diva they have something for you. They also showcase books written by women for women. If you are looking for extra support on your journey of chasing your dreams, this may be a good place to have a look. Being an entrepreneur can sometimes feel like a lonely journey at times but it doesn’t have to be. There are so many support groups out there!

So if this is something you may be interested go visit them right now!! Be a doer and don’t let opportunities just pass you by!!! Visit www.thecoolgirlsguide.com today!

 

 

 

 


My Dreamboard Visionboard

Trust your Passion. Identify your Dreams then find the courage to share that with others, no matter how many times they call you a fool – Bill Strickland

We all have dreams and they do change at different times in our life for example when I was 5 I wanted to be a famous singer like Selena but as I grew older that grew dimmer as I realized I didn’t have naturally fabulous vocals and it required more time than I wanted to put in therefore I changed my mind about becoming a famous singer haha But today I wanted to share my dream board during this time of my life. I love visuals and this is perfect to get a quick overview. I did this activity with my husband when we first got married for a date night.

1. Protect The Family Unit 2. Live my Faith 3. Education is Ongoing 4.Serving continuously 5.Fill mind with Positive and Motivational messages 6.Strive for Financial Freedom 7. Own my own Ride 8. Live Comfortably 9.Mastering the basics Health Wellbeing 10.Teaching Sharing Building/Lifting Others 11. Perfect my Marriage 12. Create Adventurous Memories 13.Creating the home as a safe Haven for my family.

dreamboard

What does your dreamboard look like? Would love to see hear some of your ideas of that which you hope to accomplish in your lifetime!  We can do it and push aside negativity that may be holding us back from reachingthose dreams!