Tag: goals


2nd Birthday at the Elderly Home

IMG_7882smallThis year I decided to make her birthday party a more service oriented birthday because she only cares about having a cake and blowing out the candle at this age.  I got this idea from a post I saw on Facebook  about a kindergarten which went to a rest home (care center) once a month to visit the elderly and how it made them sooo happy. We also recently had a friend who had passed away who was at this care center so we decided to pay them a little visit. I also believe that having  the elderly in my children’s lives can teach them many things from compassion, service to love and so much more! I know I was abundantly blessed by living with my grandma for many years.

At first when I called them to ask them if we could do this, they sounded confused why on earth I would have a birthday there because they had never had this done before. Even those who I had invited was a little confused at why her birthday party was at a care center. We also asked guests to not bring a gift but a gently used toy that can be donated to a kids charity.

I tried to keep it as minimal as possible so all we had were a few balloons, snacks and the cake. I think all up I spent under $10 on this birthday so yay!!!I was the main entertainment, we just sang songs and recited nursery rhymes. For the elderly is was just a lot of fun to interact and watch the little kids run around and play. Many of them wishing they could have a little of their energy haha. (don’t we all) It was also sooo sweet to hear some of the elderly say that they never see their great grand babies so this was a real treat for them.

It was such a simple little birthday idea that I encourage any of you to do. I’m not one for big birthdays but if it can brighten someones day I will do it. In doing this I hope that my little one when she looks back on these pictures will also be able to find her own ways to serve those with high needs in our community.

Big thanks to our family and friends that came out to help us celebrate!!! We love you!!!!!IMG_7844small IMG_7850small  IMG_7864small

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4 Ways to keep the Romance alive with a New Baby

Lets face it, this is just a difficult time to keep the romance alive. You just had a baby, you are still feeling bloated, and your bodies trying to adapt to the hormones and everything post pregnancy whether you are breastfeeding or recovering from a c-section.  But all reasons aside we can’t just abandon this aspect of our marriage completely. If anything this is such an important time for you and your spouse as he may be feeling more neglected with the new baby in the house. The truth is if you are not looking after yourself and your marriage first, this will reflect in your parenting. So in order to be a better mother be a better wife first. ( p.s this photo was taken literally a day after we had our 2nd baby at the hospital! first official date night after baby and she was in the nursery just down the hall hahaha)

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  1. Try and have the baby sleep in their own crib or bassinet. This is hard at first especially if you are nursing and fall asleep during it (like me) But if you prefer to co-sleep use one of those attachments to your bed so that you and your spouse still have your own space.

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2. Self Care! This is something I always neglect but have come to see the importance in lately. Even  just waking up earlier to have a nice shower, even putting on makeup and doing your hair can do wonders for you. For me I just enjoy going for a walk in the morning. It is so easy to get caught up in the drab of being in your p.js all day long. At least dressing up will make you look more cuddly even if you don’t really feel like it.

3. Communicate with your spouse. Help him understand that  time together will be less but when you do get time together ensure that it is QUALITY TIME! Talk and plan what things you can do as soon as you get that time alone.

4. Set specific Date nights. Right now we can’t really leave our little one with anyone so we always set at least 10mins aside each day to talk with each other. It really has become my favorite part of the day, even though I get sick of his work stories I just enjoy where our conversations end up. While the kids are asleep pop out the ice cream or the goodies and have a date night in the kitchen or on the deck outside. Creativity is KEY!!

Would love to know your ideas and thoughts. Email me or message me at info@ourhappytalk.com.


Self Awareness in Relationships

“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” -Gandhi

You may wondering what is all this self awareness stuff got to do with relationships and marriage.Being self-aware in marriage or any relationship is an amazing skill that will allow you to communicate effectively and truly understand your environment and be able to take control of your own emotions.  I guess for me my understanding is that if you don’t know yourself how are you able to get to know and love anybody else. Love comes from within, we need to give love to receive love and therefore being aware of who we are can help us develop love for ourselves. (Wow that’s some deep stuff right there haha) But for real though. All healthy relationships come from a deep understanding of self.

Self-awareness (sometimes also referred to as self-knowledge or introspection) is about understanding your own needs, desires, failings, habits, and everything else that makes you tick. The more you know about yourself, the better you are at adapting life changes that suit your needs.

We are literally like a onion we have sooo many layers to us to uncover and understand. I seriously find that the more I go on in life and continue to self reflect the more I connect the dots to why I do and think the way I do.

Self-awareness includes:

  • Understanding our emotions—what we’re feeling and what triggered it—so we can effectively work through and transform our emotional responses (instead of using them to justify unhealthy choices)
  • Recognizing our destructive thought patterns so we can redirect them
  • Tuning into what’s going on in our bodies so we can learn from it and access our intuition
  • Noticing our behavioral patterns and habits so that we can make adjustments to change negative ones
  • Understanding our beliefs, assumptions, and expectations, and how they influence what we choose to do
  • Accepting that we are responsible for our actions—even if we developed certain patterns in response to events from our past

Here are some activities that you can practice and implement into your life to help be self reflect.

  1. List You: What are your beliefs? What do you stand for? What are your likes and dislikes? What are fears?  What are your goals? What do you believe your relationships should look like? What qualities do you have to contribute to your relationship?
  2. Question your thoughts or beliefs. Look at what you have written about yourself and now its time think objectively. For example ask yourself why do I prefer to demand that my partner come straight home after work? Why do I want him always with me? Why do I get mad when he wants to spend time with his friends? Ask yourself these questions whenever those times come up when you are frustrated at something your partner does. If you can’t in the moment then do it when you have calmed down. Is your belief legit or where does it stem from. You can dig deeper and deeper and find the root cause of your beliefs. It may be helpful to do this with a trusted friend, coach or therapist to guide you in the right direction.
  3. Keep a Journal: Not just what you ate for breakfast but include feelings and anything that will help you understand and reflect on yourself more. Like including what you ate for breakfast or why you didn’t how you were feeling in the moment can help when you go back to read and reflect. Writing a journal helps you identify patterns a lot more easier. So being consistency is key for this exercise. Journals are most effective if done over a long period of time from 6months-12months will give you some good insight on yourself.
  4. Evaluate: Now you have seen some of your qualities and recorded your behaviour in your journal.  Set some goals on what you want to work on to improve your marriage or relationships. You can always keep on track coming back to your goals on a weekly basis to see how you are changing your behaviour. Some people need this written down others can just work on one at a time so it’s easier to keep track of. Remember you will not change overnight so keep working on it. Make your goals easy to monitor so you don’t feel too overwhelmed and give up.

 

 


Am I ready for Marriage?

Lets face it we will never be completely and fully ready for anything in life? How many of us were ready to go to school for the first day? Or start a new job or college or anything. I know I wasn’t ever ready but I did it and I became better because I jumped in it with faith and hope and an attitude to work at it. Marriage is a big step and although we may never be completely ready for it there are some things that we can do to better prepare ourselves for this lifelong commitment. Here are some general questions to ask yourself if you are wondering if you are ready for this marriage thing!

Is my relationship with God priority above all else?

If you do not have solid foundations you will not be able to stand. Do you feel your relationship with God is superficial work on it? Your relationship with God is the foundation for any marriage if it is strong you will be able to withstand whatever trials that may come your way.

Have I fallen in Love with Myself?

One of the worst things a girl can do is going into a marriage being self-conscious, jealous and emotionally unstable. We need to love ourselves first. We need to have a deep knowledge and understanding and love of who we are wherever we are at in our life. When we can find love from within us we don’t need to compare ourselves to other women and feel insecure about ourselves. Many women break down and fall apart when their spouse isn’t there for them but as we know how to love ourselves wecan handle these situationsWe enjoy love from others but also know that we don’t heavily depend on it because our love from inside is greater and we know that we have a greater source of love which is God and His love is unconditional.

Am I willing to be Selfless in all aspects of my life?

Marriage is selfless. You need to be doing things for the sake of the marriage not for your own personal gain. From the children to your sexual intimacy marriage is doing things for each other.

Am I willing to be open and vulnerable in my marriage?

When we are open and vulnerable this is where REAL TRUST is built. When we communicate our true feelings and emotions it builds strength in your relationship. Some people may look at this as a sign of weakness but know that when you do this your partner will be able to confide in you as well and you start building true foundations of trust, love and commitment all because you were willing to be open and vulnerable.

Am I humble enough to admit fault and learn?

Humility is big if you are humble enough to know when you are wrong and also willing to admit fault this will take you a long way. Communicating is vital to let your partner know how you are feeling and expressing it in a loving and calm way.

Am I committed to being with this one person through thick and thin and accept where they are at?

Who you decide to marry is not going to change overnight. Too often we want to change them but the fact of the matter is we can’t change anybody. It has to come from within themselves. We as partners need to love them for where they are at and how far they have become. It does not mean we lose sight of their potential but we love them along this journey.

What would you add to the list? Would love to hear your thoughts? If you are working on some of these and would like to get some more personal advice I would love to talk to you. Email me at info@ourhappytalk.com.

xo Tracy


When your spouse doesn’t show affection

IMG_3479smallDepending on how long you have been married you are probably so sick of trying to get your husband to remember anniversaries, birthdays, mother’s day or even just to be spontaneous and bring you flowers one day. When I first married my husband he was not very affectionate in those ways. When we took the love language test his top 3 were, words of affirmation, time and physical affection while mine was time and acts of service he started to realise what I loved and started to direct his actions towards my love language. But it didn’t happen immediately and I couldn’t force him anything against his will no matter how much I wanted to. The progress was slow and it took effort from the both of us, it required patience and understanding from each of us.

Evaluate Media Intake

How often are you watching movies and shows that show all the fairy tale relationships. While you and your spouse are trying to improve your relationship it would be helpful to decrease your intake of this type of media so you are not holding up crazy fairy tale expectations of your spouse. Even with social media when you see all your friends constantly posting all the fun things that their spouses do for them and there you are getting even more annoyed that your spouse isn’t doing the same thing! Until you are comfortable with where you are in your marriage have a media diet and limit your intake, it will be better for both your marriage and plus you will have more time for each other!!!!

Communicate

This is not a nagging session and finding fault session this is a time to to loving tell your spouse how you feel. Begin the conversation by saying things that you love that your spouse does. Show him that there are awesome things that they do! Then bring up that which are your personal concerns. If you set a time to regularly meet together to talk about deep relationship topics this may it be easier to express your concerns so your spouse knows this is something that you are both working on together and that there is consistent accountability on a weekly or monthly basis.

Give Credit for the Small

Give credit at every opportunity you can. We all work this way when somebody recognizes a good behaviour of ours we are like little kids and we want to do it over and over again. Try and spot those times when your spouse has made the effort big or small. If it was a phone call or even a text message let your spouse know you appreciate them thinking of you during the day and sending that thoughtful message.

5 Love Language Tests

Last but definitely not least!!!! Do this test learn what rings with each other, what makes you and your spouse feel loved. If you have even more time, take some time to read the book if you want to get in depth into it. Understanding each other is so important so you can be a lot more empathetic and loving and understanding to how each other does things and why they do things.

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Recognizing Signs of Emotional Abuse

IMG_4652smallRecognizing whether somebody is in a physically abusive relationship is a lot easier than noticing if somebody is in an emotionally abusive relationship. As time goes on we may become tolerant to this and accept the emotional abuse and make excuses for this. To a certain extent we don’t need to tolerate this but we can find ways to help them learn better habits. If they don’t see there is a problem and a need for them to change then seeing professional help may be the next step.

(Source: psychcentral.com)

  1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing:
    • Does anyone make fun of you or put you down in front of others?
    • Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?
    • When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?
    • Does anyone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?
  2. Domination, control, and shame:
    • Do you feel that the person treats you like a child?
    • Do they constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”
    • Do they remind you of your shortcomings?
    • Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?
  3. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings:
    • Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?
    • Are they unable to laugh at themselves?
    • Do they have trouble apologizing?
    • Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?
  4. Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect:
    • Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?
    • Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?
    • Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?
    • Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?
  5. Codependence and enmeshment:
    • Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?
    • Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?
    • Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?
    • Do they require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?

If reflecting on these question you see many in your relationship. It may be time to be open with your partner. It could be as simple as doing this test together and evaluating the outcome together. I am grateful my husband had the courage to be open with his feelings with me and to let me know that he was hurting from how I was treating him. It didn’t come overnight for me to recognize my behavior but in time it did. But if it goes beyond your abilities there is plenty of support out there to work through this.

Would love your feedback and comments about this. Let me know what you think. If you or somebody you know is going through something like this I would love to talk about or message me at info@ourhappytalk.com

Be Amazing!!! xo Tracy


Joking or Emotional Abuse

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Realization

We all know how it feels to be physically abused. But emotional abuse is something that has just shed light on me in the last year of being married. It started when a friend was talking about her step-mother being emotionally abusive to her father and how it was terrible for her and her family. I asked her what things did she do.. she went on to describe the things she did and I laughed and said “that’s everything I do and that’s totally my childhood of my family and other families I knew!” She didn’t seem to find it as funny as I did. I guess what was normal to me wasn’t so normal to somebody else. We ended that conversation awkwardly but it left me with the desire to further understand what emotional abuse was.

Generational Pattern

Emotional abuse is a more difficult to recognize and can go by unnoticed in a relationship for a very long time. Growing up in a polynesian community it is renowned fact that men are generally speaking the physical abusers. But thinking about the emotional abuse, I grew up seeing this mainly in the women in my family and community. Emotional abuse doesn’t just happen in couples in can happen in friendships between parent and child or with relatives.

Emotional abuse is when there is a regular occurrence of bullying, criticism, shaming, manipulation, verbal abuse etc. Growing up mocking and putting down was a tactic to motivate someone to do better, and just for entertainment. We use to just keep mocking until that person cried and that was usually the goal and it would be jackpot if they ended up crying. It was completely normal although many times we were really hurt inside but couldn’t show that we hurt otherwise we would be mocked even more. Mocking can be disguised as fun and jokes but usually are very personal and offend one to the point that it seeps into their subconscious.

For me I did notice that I was hurting my husband but I just kept telling him he needed to toughen up and man up to not take my mocks to heart. Or that he was just being too sensitive. What I didn’t realize is that It really did hurt him personally, and it made him feel less and insignificant and that is what mattered not what I thought but how he took it. It took me a while but I really didn’t learn and see examples of healthy communication around me that was the only form of communication I had learnt so I had to pick up on some healthy habits quickly.

Break the Cycle

While mocking take a moment to think are you trying to gain power over somebody. This is a key factor to bulling or being emotional abuse you want to be in power you want to have control over somebody. A person who does this can have many reasons to why they do this. They may have been mocked or abused as a child and are hurting and the way they cope with it is by trying to hurt other people verbally.  Whatever the case be, see that person for more than their actions. There are usually deeper issues that lie beneath. I know that this was the case for me. Support them and show them love so they can learn from good examples. If necessary offer support and help or kindly refer them to a professional of some sort to work out through these issues.

Jokes are fun but when they go beyond the point of fun and are mean then we got to take a couple of steps back!

Would love your feedback and comments about this. Let me know what you think. If you or somebody you know is going through something like this I would love to talk about or message me at info@ourhappytalk.com

Be Amazing!!! xo Tracy

 

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Marriage Advice from a Cowgirl

 

Our story began in the Summer of 1993 at a church convention in Chugwater, Wyoming. Cody was single, I was not!We exchanged addresses and wrote a few letters throughout the years.

In October of 1997, I was a senior in High School.  I was very active in volleyball and had just experienced a rough break up with a boy. I had a “NONBOY” attitude.My mother decided that I needed to attend a church convention in Kansas. She insisted that I go. I went by myself and I can remember thinking, “Why am I going?” I made a little detour and was a little late getting to the convention. You see, I really didn’t want to go and I felt like I had my life in control.  Turns out that I need to attend that convention.  I think my mom and God talked to each other. I sat at a lunch table, when I heard this, “Naomi, can you please pass the tea?” I about fell off my chair. Cody Loomis remembered my name.

To tell you the truth I cannot remember a thing that the preachers talked about. All I can remember was the butterflies in my stomach and the long walks that we went on.After the convention was over, I drove Cody to his ranch and we went on a horseback ride.  We talked about our faults, our weaknesses, our goals in life, our fears, our past relationships, and our future. I can remember leaving his ranch that night and thanking God that I went to Kansas.

In September of 1998, Cody took a knee and asked me to be his wife. I said, “YES”. Two weeks later in Lone Tree Canyon, east of Chugwater, Wyoming we said these vows:

“You are my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.” We celebrated 17 years of marriage in October. I’m surprised by how fast the years have gone by.

When I think back on our dating days and then our wedding day, it was filled with such hope and promises. Our love was blossoming and a new life was beginning for both of us. In the course of these 17 years, we’ve learned a great deal about ourselves and about each other. About the importance of marriage and why it’s worth fighting for. We were young, in love and ready for marriage when we said yes in our late teens, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we knew how to have a great marriage.

17 years later, here are 12 lessons that have been clarified for us in our marriage:

  1. The 50/50 Game Doesn’t Work.

For a season, we view marriage like it is a game, a competition. If I do this, you should do that. Meet me in the middle here, do a little more there. If you do 50 things, I’ll do 50. That sort of game. But, true love is shown when one of us can’t get to the middle. Then, it’s up to the other to go the extra mile. Maybe that ratio is 90/10 for a season if one of us is sick, stressed, or even depressed. Don’t view marriage as a scorecard. Someone always loses that way.

  1. Keep Adventure Alive.

Fighting to keep adventure alive doesn’t have to be extravagant. Maybe it’s a small drive with no kids, or maybe you shut the door to your bedroom, maybe its a date to a feeder meeting, or a surprise baby sitter for the evening or even a simple handwritten note. One of our favorites is a horse back ride!

  1. Kiss, Hug & Hold Each Other.

This is a hard one but probably one of the most important. Make a point to kiss and hug your spouse each morning and night. When you’re leaving and arriving too.  I challenge each of you to try this.  It makes a huge difference in your day and night. Be the one to make the move first, don’t always wait for the other. I also challenge you to hold hands, it rekindles the flame!

  1. Grit Is Often The Best Description Of Love.

When we where newlyweds love was easy, but after years real life can get chaotic, stressful, and confusing.  The answer is to dig your boots in when life gets hard.

  1. Real Life Happens In The Mundane.

Babies being born, buying a piece of land, buying a new car are the peaks of marriage, and they are great. However, most normal days are mundane. I’ve been guilty of missing the little moments while I work to make the big ones happen. I’m realizing that life happens in those little moments. I’m learning to love the journey, every bit, as much as the destination.

  1. Proximity Doesn’t Equal Presence.

Being physically close isn’t the same as being close emotionally. We need to put away our phones and listen to each other’s hearts.  Life is busy; when you have the ability to be together physically, it is important be there emotionally as well.

  1. Comparison Will Kill.

In an age of social media it’s easy to feel like your marriage sucks.  It does our relationship no good when we compare our money, house, kids’ performance and marriage to others through social media. We will become the losers. It robs our joy.

  1. Don’t Throw It Away.

Each day we need to keep choosing each other.  When our going gets a little rough, I remember our wedding day or the birth our kids and decide that it will pay to keep our spark alive. We need to be honest about when we fail. It will be worth it.

  1. Giving & Serving. 

Are we giving and serving? Or are we only taking and using? Life is best when we are giving ourself away for the benefit of  the other.

  1. Live In Community.

Nobody told me that marriage is hard. It can be beautiful and redeeming. When we chose to surround our self with friends and family who know your strengths as well as your struggles, you realize you have support and encouragement.

 

Naomi Loomis

http://fromthecornerofthecirclel.blogspot.com/

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I’m Naomi Loomis and I am a rancher from the Sandhills of Nebraska. My husband, our 4 kids and myself are raising the next generation of ranchers and cattle. My blog gives you a glimpse of our ranch and our story—all to better connect consumers with ranchers. Visit me at www.fromthecornerofthecirclel.blogspot.com.

 


Limiting Belief Systems

We all have them.. that negative inner voice that says

You aren’t smart enough

You aren’t brave enough

You aren’t pretty enough

You aren’t social enough

YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH

LIMITING BELIEFS are also disguised as

  • Excuses
  • Negative Thoughts
  • Justifications
  • Worries
  • Beliefs conditioned from culture or family
  • Thought Patterns
  • Perfectionistic Thinking
  • Past failures
  • Fear

You are enough! And you can overcome these belief systems that hinder you from your true and ultimate potential. Look back in your life there are bound to be numerous examples when you decided that these belief systems were not going to rule your life. For me it was going to university and graduating from university.At one point I questioned if I was really smart enough and committed to go there and graduate. In relationships I would think am I am I doing enough to be loved? Do I even deserve to be loved?

These limiting beliefs have come from everywhere and anywhere, we have picked them up throughout our childhood and held on to them to define us. For me during my late teens it was such a simple sentence that this  ignorant boy used “YOU CAN’T TALK TO ME UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE THIS SUPERMODEL ON THE FRONT COVER OF THIS MAGAZINE” Even today this still haunts me as I have translated it to mean, I can’t accomplish anything great unless I look like her. Or sometimes I think okay once  I lose weight I will definitly get the dream job or the success that I am looking for. Which it totally BULL!!!!!  Our self limiting beliefs may have come from our environment, family, friends or even the media.  As time goes on these beliefs get stronger and stronger and get proven time and time again because we live them and turn them into reality.

Can you imagine your life if you had no limiting beliefs, where  your mind is an open and blank canvas. What would you do differently? Where would you be? Who would you become? Here are some steps and ideas to help you overcome your limiting belief systems.

  • Think of a Dream, Goal you have but have failed to achieve
  • What is your biggest excuse or reason for failure?
  • Dig Deep and ask why do you use that excuse?
  • What has made you accept that as your excuse?
  • How is this belief or excuse helping me?
  • What are things I can accomplish if I didn’t have this belief?
  • What are the consequences if I stay with this belief?
  • How would I feel if I overcame this belief?
  • How would my life be different if I overcame this belief?
  • Why should I change now?
  • Am I committed to this new future?

These are questions to ask yourself as your evaluate whatever you limiting belief is. Whatever is holding you back is always just in your head. You do have the power to change your thought process and define your own future. If you have any further questions on this I would love to hear from you. Feel free to message me or comment below!!!

 


Story of an Addict to Entreprenur

againsttheoddsThis story is a wonderful example of how can make changes in the life for the better, a story of someone fighting against the odds and overcoming trials to get where he is today. We see so many stories of tech entrepreneurs that make millions from selling their Internet technology to the big tech giants. Though these stories are inspirational, they portray an image of success that few people can actually relate to. This is the story of Mr Wickstrom. We can all learn something or may be able to relate to his story. For me I learn that we all have the potential to change our destiny, change the outcome of our situations even though it seems like all odds are against us. They are in our hands. You may be in the situation to help change somebody’s life and direct them for the better. Whichever side of the spectrum we all may be able to influence for the good somewhere somehow.

The obstacles that young people face seem insurmountable. But no matter how bad it gets, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past, and no matter how old you are, you can overcome anything, become successful, and lead a respectable, healthy life. I say this because I overcame my battles with addiction, a battle that raged for more than 22 years. After winning my battle, I now run one of the largest holistic rehabilitation centers in the United States and help thousands of people every year beat their addiction and start a new promising life. This is the story of how I did it and what I learned throughout the process.

My battle with addiction

At the age of 14, my girlfriend broke up with me to be with one of my best friends. Overcome with grief, I sought comfort from any source that I could find and found my first beer. Instead of facing my problems, I learned to run away from them, and soon, beer lead to vodka, which lead to cocaine. Drugs became my way to escape any problems I had with family, money, relationships, or friends.

My battle with addiction raged for more than 20 years and four different treatment centers. It wasn’t until the age of 38 that I finally hit rock bottom: I could no longer play sports, I could no longer enjoy football games, and I could no longer hang out with my friends — all because of drugs. I was ready to become sober and found Narconon, the treatment center that changed my life.

I found a higher purpose

Narconon saved my life. After graduation, I had to make a choice about what I wanted to do with my career: I could either go back to selling things (I was a terrific salesperson for GM), or I could dedicate my life to helping people. I realized that I was given a second chance at life and thus, found my higher calling: a dedication to helping people beat their addiction, just like I did.

I opened up my own Narconon center and saved more than 6,000 people throughout the course of several years. It felt great to help people and make a true difference in this world.

The non-tech entrepreneur

Throughout my time leading a rehabilitation center, I studied and learned what techniques and methods were effective, and what weren’t. I dedicated myself to my craft and developed my own course, different than any other curriculum in the industry.

Inspired and powered by my higher calling, I took a loan from the bank and started my own rehabilitation center that followed my own curriculum. Three years later, I run the largest holistic rehabilitation center in the United States that helps thousands of people every year recover from addiction and start a new life.

Lessons learned

No one is going to do it for you — you have to do it yourself.

I’ve learned that nothing great is ever handed to you in life. When it came to addiction, no treatment center could have helped me until I made the personal commitment to do it for myself. Once I made that decision, I was able to utilize my intrinsic motivation to become sober.

Similarly, entrepreneurs succeed because of hard work and determination, not because of luck or a great idea. My business has succeeded and grown because I have dedicated my life to help rehabilitate people. It’s not about the money; it’s about the lives my company saves and the positive impact we make in society.

Play to your strengths and experience.

After I became sober, I didn’t try to learn how to code and build the next Instagram; instead, I evaluated my strengths and passions and decided how I could best utilize my skills to create a product for people that I could understand and can relate to.

Early in my career, I was one of the top salespeople for GM. I utilized my sales abilities to get a loan from the bank to start my own rehabilitation center. I then utilized the same sales abilities to show people why my curriculum is different and has a better chance at helping them beat their addiction than any other curriculum in the industry. It was my abilities that got us our first patients, which allowed us to grow to where we are today.

No matter how large the obstacle, you have it in you to overcome it and succeed in life. Use my story as fuel to light your fire, overcome your obstacles, and make a positive impact in society.

croppedPerWickstrom2Per Wickstrom is the president and founder of Best Drug Rehabilitation, a rehabilitation center focused on helping people beat their addiction through holistic and natural methods. For more on addiction and recovery visit their website bestdrugrehabilitation.com.



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